Proverbs 21:9 (NKJV) Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Can you imagine living in a home that is full of contention? A contentious person can either be a man, woman, husband or wife. When there is contention in the family, the atmosphere will be so tense that you can almost cut it with a knife. We must be careful not to be someone who is controlling or keeps “mothering” our spouse. When we are contentious then we are constantly picking on the weaknesses and faults of the spouse. It will seem as though whatever one spouse does will never satisfy nor reach the standard set by the other spouse. There will be no peace in the home and we are the cause of it. God has nothing to do with it. It is purely the work of the flesh if you are a born-again Christian. We should stop the strife! Venting our anger, frustration and discontentment will not change a person. It will only drive the other person further away from us. Words tear down and destroy the person even if the person doesn’t retaliate and chooses to suffer in silence. We will reap what we have sown. The marriage will never be good nor intimate because of all the words that have been spoken. It destroys the atmosphere in the home. We need to restore the atmosphere in the home so that it is filled with peace and love by being a peacemaker!
1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV) Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
There is no perfect marriage because we are imperfect people living in a broken world. We will need to constantly work on our differences until we die but there will be fewer differences as we work on them and grow old together. When we choose to walk in the spirit, it means that we will choose not to be offended by the remarks and behaviors of the other person but choose to forgive and love instead. It is difficult, since it involves a lot of dying to the flesh and not allowing our emotions to get the better of us. This is painful because we want to fight back. It is during such moments that we need to deny ourselves and pick up the cross to follow Christ! Avoid giving the cold shoulder treatment or entering into a prolonged cold war. Sometimes, we contribute to the contention by refusing to work on the issues or intentionally doing exactly what we know our spouse dislikes. If we intentionally press these buttons that will trigger a reaction, then there will be no peace at home!
We should work towards being peacemakers and bridle our tongues! Learn to see all the good qualities in your spouse. They will possess some qualities that we do not possess. Follow God’s example! Remember, God who is the peacemaker did not wait for us to be perfect before sending Jesus to redeem us from our sins. Instead He chose to love us while we were yet sinners. We should not wait for others to change but instead desire for a change in our own behavior. Give no place to the devil.
Sermon Series: Peacemaker
箴言 21:9 宁可住在房顶的角上，不在宽阔的房屋与争吵的妇人同住。
彼得前书 3:7 你们作丈夫的也要按情理（原文是知识）和妻子同住；因她比你软弱（比你软弱：原文作是软弱的器皿），与你一同承受生命之恩的，所以要敬重她。这样，便叫你们的祷告没有阻碍。