“Show me a family that has not been fractured-temporarily or permanently – by a fury-filled rift between two or more members and I might believe in miracles. Just about everyone I know seems to have experienced such a distressing event, often with painful psychological and sometimes physical effects that carried over to relatives who had nothing to do with the precipitating dispute. Rifts can begin with financial, religious, political even existential conflicts. Common precipitants include contested wills, disputes over parental care, sibling rivalry and charges of favoritism.” (Jane E. Brody @ The New York Times Dec 7, 2020)
Proverbs 17:1,14,19 (NKJV) Better is a dry morsel with quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife….. The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts…. He who loves transgression loves strife, and he who exalts his gate seeks destruction.
There is a comparison in this verse where the poor has quietness in the house while the rich has lots of strife among the members of the household despite the ability to have a feast. While not every rich family is full of strife, the Bible does tell us that the love of money is the root of all evil. When there is nothing for us to fight over then there might be peace and quietness, but strife increases when we fight over wealth. There is a tendency to scheme to ensure that we will have a bigger portion of the inheritance in a rich and wealthy family. Unfortunately, animosity develops when there are sibling rivalry over the inheritance, succession planning of the business and decisions that need to be made over the assets even before the passing on of the elders which cause rifts in families.
The devil is a talebearer who goes about whispering into the ears of anyone regarding what the other has done. The problem is his talebearing doesn’t stop at one person but he goes to different people to tell different stories. This is the beginning of contention and quarrels amongst parties. The devil enjoys seeing chaos, disunity, strife and division among siblings! We should not be talebearers as believers in the family neither should we covet what belongs to our parents but allow them to allocate based on their decisions.
Proverbs 26:20 (NKJV) Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.
May the Lord grant us wisdom to know how to deal with contentions within the extended family by being peacemakers. It is better to speak openly among members to resolve differences than to allow strife and division to continue. If we are not able to resolve it after an open discussion with members of the family then we should not participate in the strife. It might be wise to keep silent and take time to intercede for the family than to contribute to the chaos. When we refuse to participate in the talebearing, then strife will cease or subside. As believers, we are not lovers of sin, strife or transgression but lovers of peace.
Sermon Series: Peacemaker
作家中的和平使者！
“你若能找到一个家庭不曾因为家中的两个或更多的成员之间狂怒的分裂而被弄得或暂时或永久地破裂，我就相信奇迹的存在。几乎我认识的每个人似乎都经历过这样痛苦的事情，并往往伴随着心理的痛苦，有时甚至是身体上的影响，这种影响会波及到那些与突如其来的争执毫无关系的亲戚们。分歧可能始于财务、宗教、政治甚至一直存在的冲突。常见的诱因包括遗嘱争议、父母照顾的纠纷、兄弟姐妹间的竞争以及对偏袒的指控”。(简·e·布罗迪@纽约时报，2020年12月7日)
箴言17:1,14,19设筵满屋，大家相争，不如有块干饼，大家相安…..纷争的起头如水放开，所以在争闹之先，必当止息争竞。喜爱争竞的，是喜爱过犯，高立家门的，乃自取败坏。
在这句经文中有一个比较，穷人在家里有安宁，而富人虽然有能力设筵，却在家庭成员中有很多的纷争。虽然不是每个富有的家庭都充满冲突，但圣经告诉我们，贪财乃万恶之源。当我们没啥好争时，也许会有和平与安宁，但当我们为财富相争时，冲突就会增加。富有家庭中人人都想谋划着多分家产。不幸的是，当手足们因继承权，业务传承计划以及需要对资产作出决策时，甚至在导致家庭分裂的长辈过世之前就产生对抗，敌意便油然而生。
魔鬼喜欢搬弄是非，四处找人咬耳朵嚼舌根说谁谁又做了什么。问题是牠的故事不是说给一个人听了就完事儿，牠会向不同的人讲述不同的故事。这是各方争论和争吵的开始。魔鬼喜欢看到手足之间的混乱、不团结、争斗和分裂!作为家庭中的信徒，我们不应该成为搬弄是非的人，也不应该觊觎属于我们父母的东西，而应让他们根据自己的决定来分配。
箴言26:20 火缺了柴就必熄灭;无人传舌，争竞便止息。
愿主赐给我们智慧，使我们知道如何处理大家庭中的纷争，成为和平的使者。与其让冲突和分裂继续下去，不如在成员之间开诚布公地讨论以解决分歧。如果我们在与家庭成员公开讨论后不能解决这个问题，那么我们就不应该再参与冲突。保持沉默，花时间为家人代祷，这比加入混战更明智。当我们拒绝参与传播流言蜚语时，冲突就会停止或平息。作为信徒，我们不是爱罪、爱纷争、爱过犯，而是爱和睦。
讲章系列: 使人和睦的人