Judges 6:12 (NKJV) And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him, and said to him, “The Lord is with you, you mighty man of valour!”
Our words are powerful; they form the thinking of our children or listeners. To a certain extent, our children will turn out according to how we have spoken unto them. Our words will affect their confidence, self-esteem, and behaviour.
It is not easy growing up in a family with successful parents. These children face spoken or unspoken expectations, and at worst, unrealistic expectations. They grow up under the tremendous stress of being the children of a well-known figure, expected to attain or surpass their parents’ achievements—a self-image has been projected onto them. If they fail to live up to these expectations, they are likely to be depressed, frustrated, and feel like losers because their self-esteem will be hurt.
Youths have friends and classmates as their cheerleaders, especially on social media because they want to be validated. Many voices, including their peers and pop culture, clamour for their attention. Unfortunately, they are unable to differentiate between good and bad. Some youths hate themselves due to their looks, physiques, and lack of achievements, because they lack a clear identity. Some think that nobody understands them and the pressures they face because their parents might be too busy to listen to them.
Young adults who grew up in a middle to upper-class family may feel entitled to many things, making them feel frustrated when their spouse is unable to deliver the same level of comfort. If they dwell in excessive self-love, it will bring problems into the marriage because of extreme individualism. When we first start work, we seek approval and praise from corporate leadership, and begin to take pride in our identity when we outperform others. Unconsciously, we have projected a self-image based on our achievements, possessions, and lifestyle. Sadly, we are only remembered as far as our last achievement, and the situation is a fluid one. Gideon looked at himself as coming from the weakest clan and the least looked upon in his father’s house. He felt that his background hindered his abilities. However, he had a dramatic change in his life after he knew and accepted how God looked at him and believed the promises that God has given him.
There will never be a perfect self-image created by ourselves and the people around us, the reason being that in a broken and fallen world, people will only cheer for us when we are at the prime of our lives because the world operates on conditional love. Therefore, letting the world determine our worth gives us a wrong foundation for our identity. It is what the Bible called “sinking sand”. Like Gideon, we need to choose the right self-image, which we can only receive from the Lord.
Sermon Series: How to Do Well in Your New Identity?
正确的自我形象
士师记6:12耶和华的使者向基甸显现，对他说：“大能的勇士啊，耶和华与你同在！”
我们的言语很有力量；它们构建了我们孩子或听众的思维。在某种程度上，我们的孩子会按照我们对他们说话的方式来长成。我们的言语会影响他们的信心、自尊和行为。
在一个父母都很成功的家庭里成长并不容易。这些孩子面临着已言明或未言明的期望，最糟糕的是不切实际的期望。作为一个知名人物的孩子，他们在巨大的压力下长大，他们被寄予的期望是达到或超过父母的成就——一个自我形象已经投射在了他们身上。如果他们没有达到这些期望，他们很可能会感到沮丧、受挫，觉得自己是失败者，因为他们的自尊会受到伤害。
年轻人有朋友和同学作为他们的啦啦队队长，尤其是在社交媒体上，因为他们希望得到认可。许多声音，包括他们的同龄人和流行文化，都在大声呼喊以获取他们的关注。不幸的是，他们无法区分好坏。一些年轻人因为自身的外表、体格和缺乏成就而憎恨自己，因为他们缺乏明确的身份。有些人认为没有人理解他们以及他们所面临的压力，因为他们的父母可能太忙了，无暇倾听他们的心声。
在中上层阶级家庭成长的年轻人可能会觉得有权得到很多东西，当他们的配偶无法提供同样程度的舒适条件时，他们会感到沮丧。如果他们沉浸在过度的自爱中，会因为极端的个人主义而给婚姻带来问题。当我们刚开始工作时，我们会寻求公司领导的认可和赞扬，当我们超越他人时，我们开始为自己的身份感到自豪。不知不觉中，我们根据自己的成就、财产和生活方式投射出了自我认知。令人遗憾的是，公司只记得我们上一次取得的成就，好景不会一直都在。基甸看自己是来自最弱小的一个家族，在他父亲的家里，他是最微不足道的一个。他觉得他的背景妨碍了他的能力。然而，在他知道并接受上帝如何看待他并相信上帝给他的承诺后，他的生命发生了显著的变化。
我们自己和周围的人永远不会创造出完美的自我形象，原因是在一个破碎和堕落的世界里，人们只会在我们春风得意的时候为我们欢呼，因为这个世界是以有条件的爱来运作的。因此，让世界决定我们的价值会给我们错误的身份基础。这就是圣经所说的“流沙”。像基甸一样，我们需要选择正确的自我形象，这形象唯有从上帝那里才能得到。
讲章系列：如何演绎好你的新身份?
Image Source: pixabay.com