Romans 8:35,39 (NKJV) Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?… nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
We all have needs—physical, emotional, spiritual, social, and intellectual—and it is wonderful to have a spouse to meet some of those needs. However, we need to communicate our needs to our spouse and be specific about them to have them fulfilled because our spouse is not omniscient. Most importantly, we need to know that some of our needs can never be met by our spouse because only God can fulfil them.
For example, God shows us love, kindness and mercy (Psalm 103:4). He also promises to meet all our physical needs (Matthew 6:33-34). We have total forgiveness through Jesus. Christ died for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). In other words, Christ would have died for us even if we were the only person in the world. Therefore, God gave us self-esteem. God is our covenant partner. In Christ, we have safety, love and belonging.
A person must be in Christ to feel completely secure. It has to do with knowing our identity in Him. We are complete as individuals, and we do not need another person to make us more complete. The concept of self-esteem, or self-image, is a key foundation of marriage. If a marriage partner has low self-esteem, the marriage can be strained because the person’s constant need for attention can be very emotionally draining for the spouse.
Ephesians 1:3 (NKJV) Praise be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
We are blessed, chosen, and adopted as sons and daughters of God. We are without blame, righteous, holy, accepted, and redeemed by the blood of Jesus. We have the forgiveness of sins and the riches of His grace towards us. All these belong to us in Christ and we can boast in the Lord about what He has done for us. Our resources in Christ are beyond what we can comprehend. Every Christian has what Paul speaks of in Ephesians 1:3. God cannot give us any more than He has already given us in Christ Jesus. Outside of Him, there is nothing.
Marriage is more about fulfilling the needs of our spouse than our own needs. While we should meet our spouse’s needs, ultimately, only God can fulfil all our needs.
Sermon Series: Before You Say I Do (Lesson 5 & 6)
唯有神能满足我们一切所需
罗马书 8:35,39 谁能使我们与基督的爱隔绝呢？难道是患难吗？是困苦吗？是逼迫吗？是饥饿吗？是赤身露体吗？是危险吗？是刀剑吗？39 是高处的，是低处的，是别的受造之物，都不能叫我们与神的爱隔绝；这爱是在我们的主基督耶稣里的。
我们每个人都有需求 – 生理，情感，属灵，社交，心智 – 能有一个伴侣来满足其中的某些需要真是妙不可言。然而，我们要与伴侣沟通，告诉他们我们具体需要什么，以使这些需要得到满足，因为我们的伴侣并不是无所不知的的。最重要的是我们必须记住，我们的某些需求永远不能从我们的伴侣那里得到满足，因为那是唯有上帝才能满足的需求。
比如，神让我们看到祂的仁爱和慈悲（诗篇103:4）。祂也承诺满足我们日常所需（马太福音6:33-34）。藉着耶稣，我们得蒙完全的饶恕。基督在我们还做罪人时，为我们死（罗马书5：8）。换句话说，就算世上只有我们这一个人，基督也会为我们受死。所以，神给了我们自尊。神是我们的盟约伙伴。在基督里，我们享有安全，爱和归属感。
一个人必须在基督里才会感到完全安全。这关乎我们知道自己在祂里面的身份。作为个体我们是完整的，我们不需要另外一个人使我们更完整。自尊，或自我形象的概念是婚姻里的主要基础。如果一个自卑的人进入婚姻，可能会使婚姻关系出现紧张，因为他（她）需要对方持续地关注，这可能会令配偶心神疲惫。
以弗所书1:3 愿颂赞归与我们的主耶稣基督的父神，祂在基督里曾赐给我们天上各样属灵的福气。
我们蒙福，被拣选，被当作神的儿女收养。不受责备，公义，圣洁，被接纳，蒙耶稣宝血的救赎。我们的罪得到了赦免，祂的丰盛恩典赐给我们！这一切在基督里都是属于我们的，我们可以在主里夸耀祂为我们所做的。我们在基督里的资源超出了我们所能理解的。每个基督徒都有保罗在以弗所书1:3中所说的。神已经在基督耶稣里赐给我们一切。在祂之外再没有别的。
在婚姻中，更多的是满足配偶的需求，而不是我们自己的需求。虽然我们应该满足配偶的需求，但唯有神能满足我们一切所需。
讲章系列：步向红毯之前（第五和第六课）
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