Before You Say I Do (Chapter 9 & 10)

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So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does. If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. 

James 1:19-26

1. Base on the DISC personality profiling, explain the different communication styles for you and your spouse/partner and if there is any particular situation where misunderstandings or conflicts resulted. Discuss if you truly understand what your spouse/partner’s nonverbal communication or tone of voice mean in that situation and what caused the misunderstanding.
(James 1:19-20)

2. What is considered effective communication for you and what level of communication are you and your spouse/partner at in terms of sharing feelings or emotions? With the 4 styles of miscommunication (placating, blaming, computing, distracting), discuss if you find yourself or your spouse/partner resort to these styles at times and how can you improve your communication.

3. Discuss how do you deal with conflict in a marriage/relationship by referring to the 5 ways (yield, withdraw, win, compromise, resolve) and in what particular situations. Knowing that it is important to walk in the Spirit rather than allowing the flesh to dictate us, how can you resolve conflicts practically?
(James 1:21-24; Ephesians 4:22-24; Galatians 5:16-17, 22-26)