Colossians 3:9-11 (NKJV) Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.
Transitions in life are inevitable, but if we have built our identity in our “old man” and identify ourselves with our “doing” instead of being in Christ, our emotions can take a roller-coaster ride when this identity is shaken, leading to what we commonly call an identity crisis.
Why is “trailing spouse” such a demeaning term to some? It may be because our identity is in the position we hold in society. Being a trailing spouse doesn’t give us a very secure identity because the role can be deemed as insignificant, but struggle to accept it may cause us to detest our daily lives, take it out on our spouse and children, and blame them for our misery. However, it doesn’t have to be a misery if our identity is corrected and we begin to enjoy the time that we have with our children during their formative years. If you ae a trailing spouse, perhaps God has given you this opportunity to reconstruct your identity in Christ.
On the other hand, if we have developed our identity based on our sense of self-worth, we will use the same measure against our trailing spouse and see them as worthless against our success in the corporate world. We may be impatient, sarcastic, easily irritated by and disrespectful towards them in spite of the sacrifices they have had made in supporting us.
In-between jobs is one of the most challenging transitions in life—it is as though everything has been stripped away. No more business card, so no more security. Rejection and lack of response from potential employers can make us feel worthless. Meanwhile, transitioning to a new role, especially in a new industry, can also be hard. Because we have lost our identity based on what we have achieved and were respected for previously, we feel insecure and vulnerable.
If we can’t handle these transitions well, we will most likely suffer from anger, dissatisfaction, and disillusionment in life, which will affect our relationships with our loved ones and friends. These emotions will make our lives miserable because we are unhappy with the current state of our being.
So how can we do to overcome these challenges? The answer is to put off our “old man” and identify ourselves with our new identity in Christ. Jesus came to give us the right identity and self-worth. There is nothing more for us to prove because the redemptive work of Jesus Christ has caused us to be accepted in the Beloved.
Sermon Series: He Came to Give You a New Identity
如何平稳过渡
歌罗西书 3:9-11 不要彼此说谎。因你们已经脱去旧人和旧人的行为，穿上了新人。这新人在知识上渐渐更新，正如造他主的形像。在此并不分希利尼人，犹太人，受割礼的，未受割礼的，化外人，西古提人，为奴的，自主的。惟有基督是包括一切，又住在各人之内。
生活中难免经历会各种过渡期，但如果我们是在“旧人”中建立自己的身份，并以自己的“行为”而不是基督里的身份来鉴定自己，当这种身份动摇时，我们的情绪就会像坐过山车一样，导致我们通常所说的身份危机。
为什么“跟随配偶”对某些人来说是一个如此贬义的词？这可能是因为我们的身份是由我们在社会中的地位所表述的。作为一个追随配偶没有给我们一个非常有保障的身份，因为这个角色可以被认为是微不足道的，难以接受这个身份可能会导致我们厌恶我们的日常生活，把情绪发泄到我们的配偶和孩子身上，并将我们的悲催归咎于他们。但是，如果我们的身份得到纠正，并且我们开始享受孩子们成长阶段的时光，生活可以是喜乐的。如果你是一个跟随配偶者，也许上帝给了你这个机会来重建你在基督里的身份。
另一方面，如果我们的身份认同是基于自我的价值感而形成的，我们就会使用同样的标准来衡量那根随自己的配偶，对照我们在企业界的成功，将他们视作毫无价值。我们可能会对他们缺乏耐心、语出讥讽、动不动就烦躁起来并且态度轻佻，无视他们为了支持我们所作出的牺牲。
失业与找到下一份工作之间的过渡期是生命中最艰难的时期之一——就好像一切都被剥夺了。没有了名片，也就没有了安全感的保障。潜在雇主的不回应或拒绝会让我们感到一文不值。同时，过渡到新角色，尤其是在新行业中，也可能很困难。因为我们基于曾经的成就与得到的尊重所建立的身份已不复存在，于是我们觉得不安全，觉得脆弱。
如果我们不能很好地处理这些过渡，我们很可能会在生活中遭遇愤怒、不满和幻想破灭，这将影响我们与亲朋好友的关系。这些情绪会使我们的生活变得悲惨，因为我们对自己目前的存在状态不满意。
那么我们如何才能克服这些挑战呢？答案是脱去我们的“旧人”，认同我们在基督里的新身份。耶稣来是为了给我们正确的身份和自我价值。我们无需再做什么来证明自己，因为耶稣基督的救赎工作使我们在爱子里被接纳。
讲章系列：祂来给你一个新的身份
Image Source: pixabay.com