Colossians 3:8-11 (NKJV) But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.
If you are a parent, have you ever wondered how you are doing with helping your children build their identity? There was a high-achieving student who could not handle being relegated from first to second place when he was overtaken by someone else because he had associated and identified himself to be the first. As a result, he experienced an identity crisis and subsequently plunged into depression.
As parents, we need to know that there are people out there who care more about our children’s grades than their feelings, but how about us? Your scolding the night before a test can actually affect their sleep, their concentration the next day, and even make them feverish. Unbeknownst to us, they may be dealing with many challenges of their own including cyber-bullying, and if we only care about their academic results and not their overall wellbeing and mental health, the message you are indirectly giving your children is that their results are more important than themselves as a person. Many children as young as 11 years old are experiencing depression these days. What they need more than anything is love, affirmation, and hugs. We as parents need to help our children to build their identity in Christ and sow unconditional love into them instead of making feel worthless.
For example, there is a lot of expectation for those who have graduated from top universities. Accustomed to receiving praises and admiration from peers and parents, they are expected to be the elites of society. Unfortunately, if they have not achieved as much as their peers say 15 years after graduation, they may feel small and insignificant, and if their business start-ups have failed because of the pandemic, they may possibly slip into depression because they have lost their identity which was based on their academic achievements and career which have failed them. Feeling worthless, they may take it out on their spouse and children at home.
When we have our identity in our “old man” and identify ourselves with our “doing” instead of being in Christ, that is what happens when this identity is shaken. Therefore, while it’s not too late, let us help our children to build their identity in Christ which is unshakable.
Sermon Series: He Came to Give You a New Identity
帮助你的孩子建立正确的身份
歌罗西书3:8-14但现在你们要弃绝这一切的事，以及恼恨、忿怒、恶毒、〔或作阴毒〕毁谤、并口中污秽的言语。不要彼此说谎，因你们已经脱去旧人和旧人的行为，穿上了新人。这新人在知识上渐渐更新，正如造他主的形像。在此并不分希利尼人、犹太人、受割礼的、未受割礼的、化外人、西古提人、为奴的、自主的。惟有基督是包括一切，又住在各人之内。所以你们既是神的选民，圣洁蒙爱的人，就要存怜悯、恩慈、谦虚、温柔、忍耐的心。倘若这人与那人有嫌隙，总要彼此包容，彼此饶恕。主怎样饶恕了你们，你们也要怎样饶恕人。在这一切之外，要存着爱心，爱心就是联络全德的。
如果你是一位家长，你有没有想过该如何帮助孩子建立他们的身份？有一个成绩优异的学生，当他被其他人超越时，他无法处理从第一名降到第二名的问题，因为他将自己的身份建立在第一名的成绩名次上，将第一名作为自己的身份象征。结果，他经历了身份危机，随后陷入抑郁。
作为家长，我们要知道比起关心孩子的感受，有些家长更关心孩子的成绩，那我们自己呢？你考试前一晚的责骂实际上会影响孩子的睡眠，影响他们第二天的注意力，甚至使他们发烧。在我们不知道的情况下，他们可能正在面对自身的包括网络霸凌在内的许多挑战。如果我们只关心他们的学业成绩，而不关心他们的整体身心状态和健康，那么你间接给孩子的信息是，他们的成绩比他们作为一个人更重要。如今，许多只有甚至年仅11岁的孩子都在经历抑郁症。他们最需要的是爱、肯定和拥抱。作为父母，我们需要帮助我们的孩子在基督里建立他们的身份，向他们播种无条件的爱，而不是让他们觉得自己毫无价值。
例如，人们会对那些从顶尖大学毕业的人有很多期望。他们习惯于受到同龄人和父母的赞扬和钦佩，被期望成为社会的精英。不幸的是，如果他们在毕业后15年没有取得同龄人所说的那么多成就，他们可能会感到渺小和无足轻重，如果他们的创业公司因为疫情而失败，他们可能会陷入抑郁，因为他们失去了基于学术成就和职业基础建立的身份，而这些让他失望了。他们觉得自己一文不值，可能会拿家里的配偶和孩子出气。
当我们以自己的“旧我”定义自己，并且以自己的“行为”而不是以基督里的存在来鉴定自己，当这个身份被动摇时，就会发生上述之事。因此趁着还为时不晚，让我们帮助孩子们建立他们在基督里的身份，这身份坚不可摧。
讲章系列：祂来给你一个新身份
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