God desires us to have a healthy sex life within the marriage. Sex is intimate and authentic. Therefore, it matters to us.
1 Corinthians 7:4-5(NKJV) The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
In this passage, the Apostle Paul is advocating a healthy sex life within the marriage. The only time to abstain from sex is when we are fasting and praying. We should resume sexual activity within the marriage after we have ended the praying and fasting. God has designed us to have a healthy desire for each other within the marriage, and the Apostle Paul is saying that both the husband and wife can initiate sex within the marriage because God has designed us to have a desire for one another.
Unfortunately, sex within a marriage is often weaponised when there is a conflict between the couple, but sex within a marriage should not be viewed as a reward or something that needs to be earned. Rather, it should be something natural between the couple as an expression of love. However, the devil has taken advantage of the situation. Whenever sex is weaponised, the devil has succeeded in bringing tremendous damage to the relationship. That’s why the Bible tells us not to allow anger to simmer but to forgive each other before the day ends (Ephesians 4:26).
To prevent the devil from taking advantage of us, we must first have spiritual intimacy with God, submitting to the leadership and lordship of Christ. It is challenging to cuddle and have sex when we feel angry, offended, and bitter towards one another. Our emotions are not at the right place to engage in pleasurable sex with our spouse.
While it is acceptable to have a long-distance courtship, it is unacceptable when a couple lives apart for more than a month after marriage. The married couple should live together and work in the same city after marriage because our values and priorities should be God first, family second, and work third.
Finally, we are to leave our parents and cleave to one another when we get married (Genesis 2:24). We are married for love towards each other. We have developed from Philia (friendship) love to Agape (unconditional) love and climax with Eros (sensual) love. Sex is meant to be enjoyed within a marriage as an expression of our love for God and each other.
Sermon Series – Before You Say I Do (Lesson 12)
情爱
神希望我们在婚姻中拥有健康的性生活。性是亲密而真实的。因此，这对我们很重要。
哥林多前书 7:4-5 妻子没有权柄主张自己的身子，乃在丈夫。丈夫也没有权柄主张自己的身子，乃在妻子。夫妻不可彼此亏负，除非两相情愿，暂时分房，为要专心祷告方可，以后仍要同房，免得撒但趁着你们情不自禁，引诱你们。
使徒保罗在这段经文中提倡的是在婚姻中拥有健康的性生活。禁欲的唯一时间是我们禁食和祈祷的时候。我们应该在结束祈祷和禁食后继续在婚姻中进行良好的性活动。上帝设计我们在婚姻中对彼此有健康的渴望。使徒保罗说，丈夫和妻子都可以在婚姻中主动邀请性爱，因为上帝在我们里面设计了对彼此的渴望。
不幸的是，当夫妻之间发生冲突时，婚姻中的性行为已被武器化。婚姻中的性行为不应被视为一种奖励或需要赚取的东西。这应该是夫妻之间自然而然的事情，作为爱的表达。 当性被武器化时，魔鬼成功的利用了这种情况对婚姻关系造成了巨大的破坏。 这就是为什么圣经教导我们不要让愤怒酝酿，而是在一天结束之前彼此原谅。（以弗所书 4:26）
为防止魔鬼利用我们，我们必须与上帝在属灵上有亲密的关系，顺服基督的领导和主权。当我们对彼此感到愤怒、被冒犯和苦毒时，拥抱和做爱是具有挑战性的。我们的情绪不适合与配偶进行愉快的性爱。
虽然异地恋是可以接受的，但当一对夫妇在婚后分居超过一个月时，这是不可接受的。已婚夫妇应该住在一起，在一个城市工作。因为我們的價值觀和優先事項應該是上帝第一、家庭第二，然后工作第三。
最后，我们婚后要离开父母，彼此结合（创世记 2:24）。我们结婚是为了彼此的爱。我们已经从Phileo的爱（友谊或有条件的爱）发展到Agape（无条件的爱），并在情爱（Eros）达到高潮。性是要在婚姻中享受的，作为爱的表达—我们对上帝和彼此的爱。
讲章系列：步入红毯之前（第十二课）
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