Ephesians 4:22-24 (NKJV) that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.
When we refer to the “old man”, we are referring to our old nature before we received Christ as our Saviour and were born again. In the thinking of the “old man”, marriage is all about the big “I”, instead of seeing the husband and the wife as “one flesh”. Sin is all about the self and the gratification of the self! If both the husband and the wife have an individualistic ideology, a broken marriage is inevitable.
Marriage to many people is about personal rights, personal feelings, and personal pleasures, but individualism is a death blow to marriage. If we give in to individualism, once the relationship ceases to give us what we want, gets tough, or even just gets boring, we will think that we can just walk away and start all over. In the process, hearts are being broken, homes are being destroyed, and the collateral damage is rippling out into society.
The “old man” looks at marriage as a contract that has an escape clause to it, but if it is viewed as a contract, the couple will think in terms of conditions, limits, rights, and even “outs”. To modern thinking, marriage is a social contract governed by the state and negotiated between two sovereign people who share the same bed.
When it is two sovereign people living together and both demanding their rights, they may live in a beautiful house, but it will be filled with fights, quarrels, anger, and hatred because the “old man” doesn’t want to resolve conflicts or be the peacemaker because he or she is self-centred.
However, when we have been crucified with Christ, our “old man” is dead. We will also die to individualism, begin to walk in love with others, and live for Christ! We will live for our spouse and husbands will love their spouse as Christ loves the church.
Our lives are identified with Christ. We are identified with Him in our baptism, which is a beautiful symbol of His death, burial, and resurrection. It is also a beautiful spiritual picture of our co-crucifixion, our co-burial, and our co-resurrection with Christ.
The opening Scripture reiterates what it means to be crucified with Christ. It means we are united together in the likeness of Christ’s death, dead to sin, and no longer slaves to sin. We have also resurrected with Him into a new life—an abundant life that includes a home filled with warmth and love.
Sermon Series: Before You Say I Do (Lesson 9 & 10)
新角度看婚姻
以弗所书4:22-24 就要脱去你们从前行为上的旧人，这旧人是因私欲的迷惑渐渐变坏的。又要将你们的心志改换一新，并且穿上新人，这新人是照着神的形像造的，有真理的仁义和圣洁。
当我们提到“旧人”时，我们指的是我们在接受基督为我们的救主和重生之前的旧性情。在我们“旧人”的思维中，婚姻全部都是关乎一个大写的“我”，而不是把丈夫和妻子看作“一体”。所谓的罪全部都是与自我和自我满足有关！如果丈夫和妻子二人都是个人主义，那么婚姻破裂是不可避免的。
对很多人来说，婚姻是关乎个人权利、个人感受和个人享乐，但个人主义对婚姻却是致命的打击。如果我们沉迷于个人主义，一旦关系无法再给我们想要的、变得艰难，或甚至变得无趣，我们就会觉得我们可以随意离开和重新开始。在这个过程中，心灵受到伤害、家庭被摧毁，且附带的损害也波及整个社会。
“旧人”把婚姻视为一份带有逃避条款的合约，但如果把它看作为合约，夫妻双方就会从条件、限制、权利，甚至是从“如何脱身”来考量。根据现代的思维，婚姻是一个由国家管理的社会合约，是由同床共枕的两个主权人协商达成的。
当两个主权的人生活在一起，并且都要求自己的权利时，他们或许住在一栋漂亮的房子里，但它却充满了斗争、争吵、愤怒和仇恨，因为“旧人”不想解决冲突，也不想成为和解者，因为他/她只关心自己。
然而当你与基督同钉十字架时，你的“旧人”就已经死了。我们的个人主义也死了，开始凭爱心行事，也为基督而活！我们会为配偶而活，并且丈夫也会爱他们的妻子，正如基督爱教会一样。
我们的生命因着基督被认同和接纳。我们在洗礼时就与祂成为一体的，是祂的死、埋葬和复活的美丽象征。这也是我们与基督同钉十字架、同埋葬和同复活的一副美丽属灵图画。
开头的经文重申了与基督同钉十字架的含义。这代表我们在基督的死中合而为一，向罪死，且不再是罪的奴仆。我们也与祂一同复活进入了新的生命 —一个丰盛的生命，包括一个充满温暖与爱的家。
讲章系列：步向红毯前（第九和十章）
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