Matthew 7:25 (NKJV) “And the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.”
Today, over 50% of marriages in the world end in divorce. Laying a proper foundation is the only way to ensure that a marriage will last in spite of the challenges that come.
Many people get married for the wrong reasons, such as fear of being single, to escape from an unhappy home, a premarital pregnancy, or financial security. Those who have a negative self-image might see marriage as something that gives them a sense of worth and gives their lives meaning.
On the other hand, there are some excellent reasons to get married. For example, when both parties are convinced that it is God’s will for them to marry each other, they love each other and want to work at fulfilling each other’s needs. Once we are clear about why we want to marry a person, we should discuss the important topic of what is the definition of marriage. Do we see it as a contract or a covenant?
Many people in modern society view marriage as a social contract governed by the state and negotiated between two sovereign people who share the same bed. As such, the couple will think in terms of conditions, limits, rights, privileges, escape clauses, and even “outs”. This is why some marriages start off with a pre-nuptial agreement—a wrong start because it begins with a failure in mind. Individualism is the deathbed of every marriage.
A married couple is no longer two individuals but one flesh. When we value individualism more than a covenant marriage relationship, we will compromise to live apart in different cities or countries for a prolonged period of time. If a couple views marriage as a covenant, they should not live apart from each other, no matter how tempting the job offer is. Pursuing our own career advancement at the expense of living apart is a non-negotiable in a Christian marriage covenant because we value being together and prioritise our family above our jobs. Once we understand that everything is shared in a covenant relationship, we will lay down the need to be financially independent for the sake of security.
A marriage covenant is more about trust than terms, character than convenience, and giving than receiving. It reflects the very character of God. Therefore, we need to have the correct definition for our marriage because our behaviour will differ according to whether we view marriage as a contract or a covenant.
God’s Word has taught us that He is a covenant God. Everything He does is in accordance with His covenant promise. Therefore, we should also honour our covenant with our spouse because we are imitators of God.
Sermon Series：Before You Say I Do (Lesson 1 & 2)
让个人主义无立足之地
马太福音7:25 雨淋，水冲，风吹，撞着那房子，房子总并不倒塌，因为它根基立在磐石上。
现如今，世界上超过50%的婚姻以离婚告终。建造正确的基础是确保婚姻在任何挑战下都能维系下去的唯一途径。
许多人因为错误的理由而结婚，例如害怕单身、逃离不幸福的家庭、婚前怀孕或为了财务安全。那些有负面自我形象的人可能会将婚姻视为赋予他们价值感并赋予他们生活意义的东西。
另一方面，也有一些很充分的结婚理由。例如，双方都确信是上帝的旨意要他们结婚，他们彼此相爱，并希望努力满足彼此的需要。一旦我们清楚知道为什么想要与某个人结婚，我们就应该讨论一个重要课题，那就是–婚姻的定义。我们把它看作是一纸契约还是一个盟约？
现代社会中的许多人将婚姻视为一纸由国家管理的社会契约，是两个同床共枕的主权者之间协商的。因此，这对夫妇会考虑条件、限制、权利、特权、免责条款，甚至“退出”条款。这就是为什么有些婚姻以婚前协议开始——一个错误的开始，因为是怀着失败的想法开始。个人主义是每段婚姻的致命伤。
一对已婚夫妇不再是两个个体，而是成为一体。当我们把个人主义看得比盟约婚姻关系更重要时，我们就会妥协，在不同的城市或国家长期分居。如果一对夫妇将婚姻视为一种盟约，那么无论薪资配套多么诱人，他们都不应该分开生活。在基督徒的婚姻盟约中，以分居为代价来追求自己的职业发展是毫无商量余地的，因为我们重视在一起，并将家庭置于工作之上。一旦我们明白在圣约关系中是一切都是共享的，我们就会放下为了财务安全而争取经济独立的需要。
婚姻盟约更多的是关乎信任而不是条款， 是品格而不是便利，是给予而不是收取。它恰恰反映了上帝的品格。因此，我们需要正确地定义婚姻，因为我们将婚姻视作一纸契约还是一个盟约，我们据此作出的行为会是不同的。
神的话语教导我们，祂是盟约的神。祂所做的一切都是按照祂圣约的应许。因此，我们也应该遵守与配偶的盟约，因为我们是上帝的效法者。
讲章系列：步向红毯之前（第一和第二课）
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