1 Corinthians 13:4, 6-8 (NKJV). Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;… does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
There are two kinds of love: Phileo and Agape. We are very familiar with Phileo love, but we need to understand Agape love because God loves us with Agape love and also commands us to love with the same love.
Phileo love is an emotional form of love. It involves being a friend to another, feeling fondness, or having affection for someone. Phileo love relies on response, and cannot endure without reciprocation. It gives as long as it receives. It is a conditional.
Many of us are far more familiar with giving and receiving Phileo love from our experiences within family and relationships. Human beings often struggle to love others unconditionally, because we are naturally selfish and self-centred.
This becomes evident in how we sometimes take pride in our children primarily because of their achievements, or in how our affection is shaped by biases—whether based on gender, birth order, or success. Phileo love often fades when the person we care for is no longer attractive, wealthy, or influential—when we realise there is no benefit, advantage, or admiration left for us, or when expectations go unmet.
Phileo love might not withstand the test of confrontation, even if it is well-intentioned. We have only known or experienced this kind of love until we heard the gospel. Therefore, it is easy to think of God as having the same kind of love and treatment towards us. We may believe that God will stop loving us if we do not meet His standards, or He will abandon and forsake us when we have failed Him. We might even believe that God would have favourites based on gender, colour, nationality, or family background. Because we have been operating with Phileo love, we have developed these kinds of wrong thinking about God’s love.
However, God’s love is Agape love. It is an unconditional love which is written all over the Bible. God demonstrated His love for us in this: while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He has chosen not to leave us nor forsake us through the establishment of the New Covenant in Jesus’ blood. He has chosen not to remember our sins and lawless deeds because of His Agape love for us. God knows the weakness of our flesh, yet He has chosen to see us in Christ so that we will always be seen as righteous, holy, and blameless. All this is done out of Agape love while we are still imperfect! Agape love keeps loving because it is unconditional. Likewise, Jesus expects us to show the same kind of Agape love to everyone, regardless of whether they love us in return.
Reflection: How does God’s unconditional, self-giving Agape love challenge the way you love others in your church, family, and workplace?
Sermon Series: Stewardship is Established in Love
一种不同的爱
哥林多前书 13:4, 6-8 4 爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈，爱是不嫉妒，爱是不自夸，不张狂， … 6 不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理； 7 凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。 8 爱是永不止息。先知讲道之能终必归于无有，说方言之能终必停止，知识也终必归于无有。
爱有两种：Phileo（情感之爱）与 Agape（神圣之爱）。我们对 Phileo 的爱较为熟悉，但我们更需要明白 Agape 的爱，因为神用 Agape 的爱来爱我们，也命令我们用同样的爱去爱人。
Phileo 的爱是一种情感性的爱，包含友情、好感与亲切。这种爱依赖对方的回应，若没有回应就难以持久；它是在“有来有往”的基础上给予，是一种有条件的爱。
我们大多数人更熟悉在家庭与人际关系中经历的，正是这种 Phileo 的爱。人往往很难无条件地去爱他人，因为我们天性自我中心、容易以自己为出发点。
这点常常表现在我们对孩子的态度上——我们可能更多因他们的成就而感到骄傲；我们的爱也可能受性别、排行或成就的影响。当一个人不再有吸引力、不再富有或有影响力，当我们发现从对方身上得不到益处、优势或认同，或当期望落空时，Phileo 的爱往往就会减退。
即使出于好意，Phileo 的爱也未必能承受冲突的考验。在听见福音之前，我们所认识与经历的，往往只是这种爱。因此，我们也很容易以为神对我们的爱也是如此。我们可能会认为，当我们达不到祂的标准时，祂就不再爱我们；当我们失败时，祂会离弃我们。我们甚至会以为神会因性别、肤色、国籍或家庭背景而有所偏爱。这些对神爱的误解，正是因为我们一直用 Phileo 的爱来理解祂。
然而，神的爱是 Agape 的爱。这是一种无条件的爱，贯穿整本圣经。神向我们显明祂的爱：就在我们还作罪人的时候，基督已经为我们死了。借着耶稣宝血所立的新约，神选择永不离弃我们，也不丢弃我们。因着祂的 Agape 之爱，祂不再记念我们的罪与过犯。神知道我们肉体的软弱，却选择在基督里看我们，使我们在祂眼中始终是公义、圣洁、无可指摘的。这一切，都是在我们仍不完全时，出于祂无条件的爱所成就的。Agape 的爱之所以持续去爱，是因为它本质上就是无条件的。
同样地，耶稣也期待我们以这样的 Agape 之爱去爱每一个人，不论对方是否回报我们的爱。
默想： 神这种无条件、舍己的 Agape 之爱，如何挑战你在教会、家庭与职场中对他人的爱？
讲章系列： 管家职分建立在爱之上