1 Timothy 5:8 (NKJV) But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Marriage is a covenant in the eyes and mind of God. What is God’s will regarding money between married couples? When you enter a blood covenant with someone, you promise to give them your life, your love, and your protection forever, till death do you part. It is a binding, unbreakable agreement based on blood, resulting in the absolute union of the two parties, with all assets, talents, debts, and liabilities shared equally.
The common approach in many marriages is for each partner to keep their own income and contribute to a family pool. However, this reflects a very individualistic lifestyle, with an attitude of “what’s mine is mine, and don’t expect me to contribute when you face a life crisis”. That’s how a contractual marriage often works. Many couples might not even disclose their assets or income to their spouses. Secrecy, vagueness, difficulty reading each other, and avoidance of real conversations about money can foster mistrust between spouses. For example, when a wife stays home to care for the children, she may feel insecure because she has no income. This insecurity can grow as she ages, with fears that her spouse might abandon her when their children leave home, or divorce her at an age when her skills are no longer relevant.
Many single parents who have had bad experiences may have shared their pain and sense of betrayal with their children, saying things like “you must never trust men” or “don’t share your money with your husband because you never know when he will change”. However, it’s nearly impossible to build trust when we’re always on guard and harbour deep mistrust of our spouses.
Therefore, we need to build trust in order to lay a strong foundation for our marriage. Trust is built when we are candid, upfront, and self-revealing about our finances. When we come to see marriage as a covenant, we must do more than simply understand it, but regularly articulate its promises. More than simply talking the talk, we must walk the walk. By consistently applying these principles, our marriage will become stronger, deeper, and more fulfilling than we ever thought possible!
The wedding vows we uttered are a declaration of covenantal love. However, for many of us, we seem to have lost the idea that our words represent us; keeping our word no longer matters, and convenience takes precedence over integrity. We need to remember that our spouses and we are one flesh. Our marriage is a sacred blood covenant witnessed and guaranteed by God Himself. It is unconditional, unlimited, and enduring. A marriage covenant is more about trust than terms, character than convenience, and giving than receiving. It reflects the very character of God.
Reflection: Am I building trust with my spouse through honesty, transparency, and integrity in financial matters? Are fear, insecurity, or past family experiences affecting how I view money and trust in marriage?
Sermon Series: As a Man Thinks in His Heart So is He
金钱、信任与婚姻之约
提摩太前书 5:8人若不看顾亲属，就是背了真道，比不信的人还不好；不看顾自己家里的人，更是如此。”
婚姻在神的眼中和心意里是一份盟约（Covenant）。那么，在婚姻关系中，神对于夫妻之间的金钱观有怎样的旨意呢？当两个人进入血约关系时，他们承诺彼此献上自己的生命、爱与保护，直到死亡将双方分开。血约是一种具有约束力、不可破坏的盟约，建立在流血立约的基础上，使双方完全联合，彼此共享所有的资源、恩赐、债务与责任。
许多婚姻中常见的做法是，夫妻双方各自保留自己的收入，同时向家庭共同账户出资。然而，这反映的是一种非常个人主义的生活方式，其背后的态度是：“我的就是我的，当你遭遇人生危机时，别指望我会承担责任。” 这往往是契约式婚姻的运作方式。许多夫妻甚至可能不会向配偶披露自己的资产或收入情况。隐瞒、含糊其辞、彼此难以看透，以及回避关于金钱的真实对话，都可能在夫妻之间滋生不信任。例如，当妻子留在家中照顾孩子时，由于没有收入来源，她可能会感到缺乏安全感。随着年龄增长，这种不安全感还可能进一步加剧。她可能会担心，当孩子长大离家后，配偶会抛弃她；或者在自己年纪渐长、技能已不再符合社会需求时，被提出离婚。
一些来自单亲家庭的人，曾经听过父母分享被伤害和背叛的经历，因此从小被灌输类似这样的观念：“千万不要相信男人”或“不要把钱交给丈夫，因为你永远不知道他什么时候会改变。” 然而，当一个人总是处于防备状态，对配偶存有根深蒂固的不信任时，婚姻中的信任关系几乎不可能建立起来。
因此，我们必须有意识地建立彼此的信任，为婚姻打下稳固的根基。信任是透过坦诚、公开以及愿意在财务方面彼此透明而建立的。当我们真正明白婚姻是一份盟约时，不仅需要理解盟约的意义，更需要经常重申盟约中的承诺。不仅要说出这些承诺，更要以实际行动活出来。当夫妻持续实践这些原则时，婚姻将变得比我们想象中更加稳固、深厚且充满满足。婚礼上所宣读的誓言，本质上是对盟约之爱的宣告。然而，许多人似乎已经遗忘了一个重要真理：我们的言语代表着我们自己。如今，守信用的重要性逐渐被淡化，便利往往取代了诚信。我们需要时刻记得，夫妻已经成为“一体”。婚姻是一份由神亲自见证并担保的神圣血约。它是无条件的、无限量的，并且持久到底的。婚姻盟约所强调的，不是条款而是信任；不是便利而是品格；不是索取而是付出。它彰显的是神自己的性情。
默想：我是否透过诚实、透明和诚信的财务管理，来建立配偶对我的信任？恐惧、不安全感，或过去家庭经历中的伤害，是否正在影响我对金钱以及婚姻信任关系的看法？
讲章系列：你的思想，塑造你的生命