Matthew 6:33 (NKJV) But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
If we want to have good interpersonal relationships and enjoy the abundant life, we must identify our blind spots and be willing to make changes.
One possible blind spot is our core values and motivations. Do you sometimes act in ways that contradict your stated values? Do you know what truly drives you to seek the approval of others? Why do you fear failure and desire control?
As believers, the only person we should strive to please is God by seeking Him first in our lives. Our priority should be God, followed by family, then career. We should aim to live out His plan and calling for us and live a consecrated life.
For example, some people may still seek their parents’ approval and validation because they were neglected and not favoured among their siblings while growing up. Unknowingly, what truly drives and motivates them is to gain their validation. Rejection has caused insecurity in them. Many from wealthy families carry a chip on their shoulder. What motivates them is to prove their worth to their parents, but children of businessmen may not necessarily have good business acumen. This may make them vulnerable to unprofitable ventures or even scams.
The fear of men and the need for approval stem from our insecurity. Those who are insecure will trample on others with their words and actions to make themselves look good. What they do might not be righteous or just, but they are blinded by the need to appear successful and achieve success. These people need to seek God, His kingdom, and His righteousness first.
Another potential blind spot concerns our emotional triggers and responses. They are hidden sensitivities or unresolved past experiences that cause disproportionate emotional reactions which we don’t understand, such as criticisms that shut us down, or specific situations that cause intense anxiety or anger in us.
If we have unresolved past experiences, emotional baggage will pop open. Anger, frustration, and verbal abuse will happen when similar people, personalities, situations, and circumstances appear. It can be our blind spot because others will see the problem, but we don’t.
Matthew 5:44 (NKJV) But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
Some people may have been raised by parents who were highly critical and never satisfied with them, or they might have had traumatic encounters with strong personalities who were confrontational, leaving emotional scars by making them feel small and worthless. This can make them uncomfortable with confrontation and in antagonistic environments.
However, we can give our past hurts and pain to the Lord and choose to forgive those who have hurt us by praying to release them. We need to have our identity in Christ so that we can better manage our emotions in this fallen and broken world. This will enable us to have good interpersonal relationships and experience the abundant life.
Sermon Series: Do You Have A Blind Spot in Your Life
处理你生命中的盲点
马太福音 6:33 你们要先求他的国和他的义，这些东西都要加给你们了。
若我们渴望拥有良好的人际关系，并享受丰盛的生命，就必须先认清并处理自己生命中的盲点，并且愿意做出改变。
我们生命中一个可能的盲点，是核心价值观与内在动机。你是否曾发现自己的一些行为与口中所宣称的价值观并不一致？你是否知道，是什么真正驱使你渴望他人的认可？你为何如此害怕失败、又强烈地想要掌控一切？
作为信徒，我们应当努力讨神喜悦——在生活中以神为首要。我们的优先次序应当是神第一、家庭第二、事业第三。我们要追求活出神对我们生命的计划与呼召，过一个分别为圣的生活。
例如，有些人从小因不被父母重视、在兄弟姐妹中得不到偏爱，而在心里深处一直渴望父母的肯定与接纳。这样的“驱动力”成为他们行为背后的真正动机。被拒绝的经历带来了深层的不安全感。有些出身富裕家庭的人，心中背负着一种证明自己的压力。他们想让父母看见自己的价值，想让自己“配得上”家族的成功。然而，商人的儿女并不一定都有经商的恩赐，这样的盲点可能让他们陷入错误投资或被骗的陷阱中。
惧怕人、渴望他人认可，其实都源于内心的不安全。缺乏安全感的人，常会用言语或行为去贬低别人，好让自己看起来更好、更成功。这样的行为虽然表面上风光，但往往失去了公义与正直。他们被成功的表象蒙蔽，而忽略了神的心意。这样的人，需要学习先求神的国和神的义。
另一个常见的盲点是情绪触发点与反应模式。这指的是我们内在尚未被医治的敏感点或过去未解决的创伤，它们会在特定情况下引发过度或异常的情绪反应。例如，当别人批评我们时，我们可能会立即情绪封闭；或遇到某种情况时，会不明原因地感到极度焦虑或愤怒。
若过去的伤痛未被处理，这些情绪包袱就会被不断“触发”。当我们再度遇到相似的人、性格或处境时，怒气、挫折感，甚至言语上的伤害就会爆发。别人可能看得很清楚，但我们自己却看不见——这正是盲点。
马太福音 5:44只是我告诉你们：要爱你们的仇敌，为那咒诅你们的祝福，为那恨你们的行善，并为那凌辱你们、逼迫你们的祷告。
有些人可能从小在高度批评、永远不满足的父母环境中长大；也有人曾被强势或对抗性强的人伤害，因而留下创伤与羞耻感，觉得自己微不足道。这类经历会让人害怕冲突，对对立的场景感到不安。
然而，我们可以把过去的伤痛交托给主，选择饶恕那些伤害过我们的人，在祷告中释放他们。当我们在基督里建立起真正的身份认同，就能在这堕落破碎的世界中，更好地管理情绪。如此，我们才能建立健康的人际关系，并经历丰盛生命。
讲章系列：你生命中有盲点吗？