John 15:14-15 (NKJV) You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.
In the Bible, friendship is a deep covenantal relationship characterised by loyalty and unfailing love, as exemplified by Jonathan and David. For believers, our first covenant relationship is with God. We will bear much fruit if we abide in Him and He abides in us. He will speak into our lives and reveal to us all things, including His plan for our lives and the changes we need to make in our character, behaviour, and attitude, because fruit is produced through these changes. He will rebuke, correct, and train us in righteousness through the reading of the Word, which can be confrontational, or through the Holy Spirit’s prompting when we are about to make a decision. He will also show us the shortcomings and issues we need to address. If we refuse to change, God’s pruning process will continue because He wants us to bear fruit. No pruning is pleasant, but it will lead to good fruit when dealt with.
Malachi 2:14 (NKJV) Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant.
The second type of covenant relationship is with our spouse, within the marriage covenant. Our spouse is the covenant friend in our lives. They are the first to identify our blind spots, and can reprimand and correct us when they see something wrong. We should accept it gladly and be open to being reprimanded by them because it is based on unconditional love, and we know they have our best interests at heart. In fact, they can give the most accurate feedback because they observe us closely when our guards are down—they see the “real us” at home.
Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV) A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
The third type of covenant relationship is among close friends. We can have many friends, but there is one who sticks closer than a brother. This friend has a proven track record of being faithful, committed, trustworthy, and dependable; has gone through good and bad times with us. We know they mean well when they reprimand or correct us.
Proverbs 27:5-6 (AMP) Better is an open reprimand [of loving correction] than love that is hidden. Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern], But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda].
Those who reprimand us and speak into our lives are people who love us deeply and care enough to tell us the truth, whereas our enemy won’t speak up because they want us to fail. The truth may hurt, but it is for our good. Truly, it’s better to receive the rebuke from God, your spouse, or your friend, rather than the kisses of an enemy.
Sermon Series: Do You Have A Blind Spot in Your Life
真朋友在爱中说诚实话
约翰福音 15:14-15 你们若遵行我所吩咐的，就是我的朋友了。 以后我不再称你们为仆人，因仆人不知道主人所做的事。我乃称你们为朋友，因我从父所听见的，已经都告诉你们了。
在圣经中，友谊是一种深厚的盟约关系，其特征是忠诚与不变的爱，正如约拿单与大卫的关系所展现的那样。对信徒而言，我们首要的盟约关系是与神建立的。当我们常在祂里面，祂也常在我们里面时，我们的生命就会结出许多果子。祂会向我们说话，启示祂的心意与计划，也会指出我们在品格、行为和态度上需要改变的地方，因为果子正是透过这些改变而结出来的。神会借着祂的话语责备、纠正并训练我们，使我们行在义中。有时这种提醒会是直接的，也可能是圣灵在我们做决定时的感动。祂也会让我们看见生命中需要面对和调整的缺点与问题。如果我们拒绝改变，神的修剪工作仍会继续，因为祂渴望我们多结果子。修剪的过程并不舒服，但若我们愿意顺服，就会带来丰盛的果实。
玛拉基书 2:14 你们还说：“这是为什么呢？”因耶和华在你和你幼年所娶的妻中间做见证。她虽是你的配偶，又是你盟约的妻，你却以诡诈待她。
第二种盟约关系，是婚姻中的配偶关系。我们的配偶是生命中立约的朋友，是最先看见我们盲点的人。当他们指出我们的错误，责备或提醒我们时，我们应当心存感恩，愿意谦卑接受。因为他们出于无条件的爱，为着我们的益处而说话。事实上，他们的反馈最准确，因为他们在我们放下防备时、在家中最真实的样子中看见了我们。
箴言 18:24 滥交朋友的自取败坏，但有一朋友比弟兄更亲密。
第三种盟约关系，是与亲密朋友之间的关系。我们可以有许多朋友，但有一种朋友比弟兄更亲密。这位朋友在时间与试炼中展现出忠诚、委身、可信与可靠——无论顺境或逆境都与我们同行。当他们责备或纠正我们时，我们知道那是出于善意与真爱。
箴言 27:5-6当面的责备，强如背地的爱情。朋友加的伤痕出于忠诚，仇敌连连亲嘴却是多余。
那些愿意责备我们、在我们生命中说真话的人，正是深深爱我们、关心我们的人；而仇敌却不会提醒我们，因为他们巴不得我们失败。真理可能刺痛人心，但却是为着我们的益处。确实，从神、配偶或朋友而来的责备，远比仇敌虚伪的亲吻更为宝贵。
讲章系列：你生命中有盲点吗？