1 Timothy 3:3-5 (AMP) not addicted to wine, not a bully nor quick-tempered and hot-headed, but gentle and considerate, free from the love of money [not greedy for wealth and its inherent power—financially ethical]. He must manage his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity [keeping them respectful and well-behaved] (for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?).
What is your image and expectation of a good father? Although we don’t expect him to be perfect, it probably includes being loving, kind, understanding, warm, embracing, steady, dependable, and empathetic. We would also expect him to be our pillar of strength, provider, protector, and mentor, modelling to us what it means to be in a relationship with God and living out what he teaches us.
Laws without a foundation of unconditional love and effective communication often lead to rebellion, especially during the teenage years. Because children today can be very independent in their thinking as early as ten years old, honour, respect, and obedience to parents don’t come naturally, and demanding obedience is ineffective. Instead, parents must teach, guide, and discipline with patience at various stages of their children’s lives, letting them understand the consequences of their actions through love and logic. Children will only listen, obey, and honour their parents willingly if they know that they love them unconditionally and have their best interests at heart.
Examining different passages of the Bible reveals that God has expectations of fathers. Although the context of the opening passage is the selection of bishops, deacons, and elders, these men are, first and foremost, fathers of different families who have demonstrated a good reputation and managed their families well. A key leadership role of a man in the home is to ensure that he manages his family well. This involves teaching and guiding his children to be respectful and well-mannered in both speech and deeds.
One quality a spiritual leader should possess is maintaining a close-knit relationship with his children, not a strained one where either party is not on speaking terms or is at odds with the other, as this is not God’s design for the parent-child relationship. God has a clear order for the family, especially Christian family, where children are to honour their parents, and the father is to raise the children through his spiritual leadership in the home, helped by his wife. He will guide them in the ways of the Lord so that they will not depart from the Lord once they are independent. The father will also admonish and discipline the children when necessary.
Ephesians 6:4 (AMP) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to the point of resentment with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by showing favouritism or indifference to any of them], but bring them up [tenderly, with lovingkindness] in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Let us look to our Heavenly Father for reference on His design for the family and good character traits of a father. A father will always provide a secure environment by establishing a strong family.
Sermon Series: Dads for Life
按照圣经的父职
提摩太前书 3:3-5 不可嗜酒，不可打人，不可暴躁，总要温和，不要好争论，不要贪财。要好好管理自己的家，使儿女凡事端庄顺服。人若不知道管理自己的家，怎能照管 神的教会呢？
你心目中一位好父亲的形象和期待是什么？虽然我们并不指望他是完美的，但这其中很可能包括：有爱心、温柔、体谅、温暖、接纳、稳重、可靠、富有同理心。我们也期待父亲成为我们的力量支柱、供应者、保护者和导师，向我们示范如何与神建立关系，并活出他所教导的真理。
若只有律法而没有无条件的爱与有效的沟通，往往会导致叛逆，尤其是在青少年时期。如今的孩子甚至在十岁左右就已经非常有独立的想法，因此尊敬和顺服父母并非天生自然的事；若只是强硬地要求顺服，往往收效甚微。父母必须在孩子不同的成长阶段中，以耐心去教导、引导并管教他们，通过爱与理性让他们明白行为的后果。唯有当孩子真正知道父母无条件地爱他们、并且是为着他们的益处时，他们才会心甘情愿地聆听、顺服并尊敬父母。
从圣经的不同经文可以看见，神对父亲是有要求的。虽然开头的经文背景是关于监督、执事与长老的拣选，但这些人首先都是家庭中的父亲，他们已经在家中建立了良好的名声，并善于管理家庭。一个男人在家庭中重要的领导角色，就是要好好管理自己的家，这包括教导和引导儿女，使他们在言语和行为上都表现出尊重和良好的教养。
一位属灵领袖应具备的一个重要品质，就是与儿女保持亲密的关系，而不是彼此疏远、甚至形同陌路或彼此敌对。这并不是神对亲子关系的心意。神为家庭所设立的秩序非常清楚，特别是在基督徒家庭里，儿女要孝敬父母，而父亲则要在家庭中承担属灵的领导，与妻子同心协力抚养儿女。他要引导他们走主的道路，使他们在独立以后也不至偏离。他也会在必要的时候劝诫和管教儿女。
以弗所书 6:4 你们作父亲的，不要惹儿女的气，恐怕他们失了志气，总要照着主的教训和警戒养育他们。
让我们仰望天父，作为我们参考的榜样，来看祂为家庭所设立的心意，以及一位父亲当具备的良好品格。父亲要通过建立一个稳固的家庭，为孩子们提供一个安全的成长环境。
讲道系列：为父之道