Ephesians 5:25,28-29 (NKJV) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,…So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
Although the husband is given the position of spiritual head of the house, it comes with responsibilities and expectations.
Malachi 2:13….16 (NKJV) And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.… “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts.“ Therefore take heed to your spirit That you do not deal treacherously.”
In these four verses, God reiterates three times not to deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. In fact, Scripture tells us that their prayers will be hindered or go unanswered if they treat their wives poorly. God is fair—He ensures that much is expected from the husband, whom He has made to be the head of the house, who considers the needs of the spouse and makes sure that she is treated well.
Men treat their wives treacherously when they abandon their marriage commitments, fail to love, protect, or provide for them. Treacherous acts include emotional abandonment, unfaithfulness, neglecting their needs, and breaking promises through habitual lying, financial secrecy, and manipulation. God will reject their worship and offerings and not answer their prayers.
God is asking husbands to guard their hearts, pursue the covenant relationship, avoid verbal or physical abuse, and lead in reconciliation after a disagreement. They are to model Christ’s love towards their wives, pursuing love and reconciliation instead of divorce.
It’s not just about giving money and assets, even though that is important when loving your wives. What matters more is loving them and fulfilling their emotional needs by making them feel loved through your words and actions. There is a clear difference between Phileo and Agape love. Phileo love is selfish and conditional, but Agape love is unconditional love that aims for the highest good of the other person.
In our old man’s thinking, marriage was about the big “I” instead of seeing ourselves as one flesh. We are filled with “me, myself, and I”. Sin is all about self, the gratification of self! It is filled with individualistic ideology. We need to renew our minds to think that we are one flesh. Therefore, we are hurt when the other party is being hurt by us. It is no longer “I” but “we” in the marriage. Christian marriages should be built on the foundation of Agape love—that is, unconditional love.
Sermon Series- Blessed Wives, Blessed Lives
基督徒婚姻的基石
以弗所书 5:25，28-29你们做丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己，丈夫也当照样爱妻子，如同爱自己的身子，爱妻子便是爱自己了。从来没有人恨恶自己的身子，总是保养顾惜，正像基督待教会一样，
虽然丈夫被赋予家庭属灵元首的地位，但这同时也伴随着责任与期望。
玛拉基书 2:13-16 你们又行了一件这样的事，使前妻叹息哭泣的眼泪遮盖耶和华的坛，以致耶和华不再看顾那供物，也不乐意从你们手中收纳。你们还说：“这是为什么呢？”因耶和华在你和你幼年所娶的妻中间作见证。她虽是你的配偶，又是你盟约的妻，你却以诡诈待她。虽然 神有灵的余力能造多人，他不是单造一人吗？为何只造一人呢？乃是他愿人得虔诚的后裔。所以当谨守你们的心，谁也不可以诡诈待幼年所娶的妻。耶和华－以色列的 神说：“休妻的事和以强暴待妻的人都是我所恨恶的！所以当谨守你们的心，不可行诡诈。”这是万军之耶和华说的。
在这四节经文中，神三次重申不可以诡诈待你幼年的妻。事实上，圣经更清楚指出，若丈夫亏待妻子，他们的祷告就会受阻或得不到回应。我们的神是公义的——祂设立丈夫为家庭的元首，就意味着他必须承担更多的责任，要体贴妻子的需要，并确保她被善待。
当丈夫背弃婚姻承诺、不爱、不保护或不供养妻子时，就属于诡诈待妻。诡诈的行为包括情感上的疏离、不忠、忽视妻子的需要，以及通过习惯性的说谎、财务隐瞒和操控而失信于妻。神必不悦纳他们的敬拜与供献，也不会垂听他们的祷告。
神呼吁丈夫要守护自己的心，追求婚姻盟约的关系，避免言语或身体上的伤害，并在争执之后主动带头寻求和好。他们应以基督的爱为榜样对待妻子，追求爱与和解，而非选择离婚。
爱妻子不仅仅是给予金钱和资产，虽然这确实很重要。更关键的是以爱来对待她们，满足她们的情感需要，通过言语和行动让她们感受到被爱。友爱（Phileo）和圣爱（Agape）之间有明显的区别：友爱（Phileo）自我且有条件，而圣爱（Agape）则是无条件的，旨在追求对方最高的益处。
在我们旧我思想中，婚姻往往以自我为中心，而不是将自己看作与伴侣同为一体。我们充满了“我、自己、我的”意识。罪就是以自我为中心，追求自我的满足！它充斥着个人主义的理念。我们需要更新心意，学习将我们视为一体。因此，当另一方因我们的行为受伤时，我们也会感到痛苦。婚姻中不再是“我”，而是“我们”。基督徒的婚姻应建立在圣爱（Agape）——无条件的爱——的根基上。
讲章系列：蒙福的妻子，蒙福的人生
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