1 Peter 3:1-4 (NKJV) Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
The Bible does not say that women cannot dress up, look nice, or have fine apparel. Instead, it says that beauty should not be merely an outward adornment of makeup, nice hair, and fine apparel. Essentially, outward appearance should not be the primary focus of a woman’s life.
These verses emphasise the hidden person of the heart. There is a beauty that comes from within, and it refers to the inner man who is born again and has the nature of God. It is not something we do in our strength, or treat as a law, but more of a natural outflow of our being. This inner being, or the heart, is the born-again part of us, which cannot be seen except by being lived out from the inside out. Therefore, we must live out the hidden person of the heart from the inside out, because that is the real us, who we are in Christ, and a partaker of God’s nature. The incorruptible beauty of gentleness, quiet, kindness, goodness, love, joy, peace, patience, faithfulness, and self-control flows out of our being and exudes in the way we speak and behave. It is a kind of beauty that is more attractive than any adornment on our body.
The opening Scripture also encourages the Christian wife to be submissive to her unbelieving husband because her words and actions can win him over. There are many reasons why we are seeing an increasing number of strong women in the world today. The sin of mankind is a primary reason why women may reject the idea of submission to their husbands. Sin stems from self-centeredness, while coming from a better family and academic background can also be a contributing factor. The fall of man has led to feelings of insecurity and rejection, which can also cause fluctuations in women’s emotions. Sometimes, a strong exterior is a defence mechanism women adopt because of past experiences, such as verbal and physical abuse or having seen how their mothers were treated. Many women strive to be financially independent because they have seen too many women being abandoned and betrayed. It is right and wise to protect themselves, but it is wrong when it hinders them from building a healthy marriage relationship of their own.
If we want a good marriage, the couple must have a marriage covenant attitude, where the husband and wife share everything, such as wisdom, finances, and navigate difficult times together.
Sermon Series：The head of woman is man?
真正的美丽来自哪里？
彼得前书 3:1-4 你们做妻子的，要顺服自己的丈夫。这样，若有不信从道理的丈夫，他们虽然不听道，也可以因妻子的品行被感化过来， 2 这正是因看见你们有贞洁的品行和敬畏的心。 3 你们不要以外面的辫头发、戴金饰、穿美衣为装饰， 4 只要以里面存着长久温柔、安静的心为装饰，这在神面前是极宝贵的。
圣经并没有说女人不可以打扮、不可以穿戴整齐或穿漂亮的衣服，而是提醒我们，真正的美丽不应仅仅局限于外表的修饰，比如化妆、美发或华丽的服饰。也就是说，外在的样貌不应成为女性生命中的首要关注点。
这几节经文强调的是内心隐藏的人。那是一种从内里而发的美，是指我们那重生得救、拥有神的性情的新生命。这种美不是靠人的努力去达成、也不是一种律法要求，而是我们属灵生命自然流露的结果。这个内在的生命，就是我们在基督里重生的生命，虽然眼不能见，却能透过我们的生活表现出来。
因此，我们要活出内心隐藏的自己——那才是真正的我们，是我们在基督里的新身份，也是我们所承接的神的性情。那种不朽坏的美，是温柔、安静、善良、良善、仁爱、喜乐、和平、忍耐、信实与节制的流露，透过我们的言语与行为自然散发出来。这种美比任何外在的装饰都更加吸引人、更加长久。
开篇的经文也鼓励作妻子的信徒，即便丈夫还未信主，也要在行为上顺服他，因为她的言行举止可以感化丈夫的心，使他被赢得归向神。
现今社会中，越来越多“女强人”出现，这背后有许多原因。人类的罪性是许多人抗拒顺服丈夫这一观念的根本原因之一。罪是从以自我为中心开始的，而优越的家庭背景和教育程度，有时也会成为影响因素。人类的堕落带来了不安与被拒绝的感觉，也使人在情感上容易受到影响。
有时候，坚强的外在表现，是一些女性因着过去的经历而发展出的一种自我保护机制，例如曾经历言语或肢体上的伤害，或亲眼见过自己的母亲曾如何被对待。许多女性努力追求经济独立，是因为她们见过太多被遗弃或背叛的女性。保护自己是明智且合理的，但若这种防护成为阻碍她们建立健康婚姻关系的障碍，那就值得我们反思。
若我们渴望拥有一段美好的婚姻，夫妻双方都需要有“婚约的心态”，彼此在智慧、财务等方面坦诚相待，在艰难时刻同心同行、携手面对。
讲章系列：女人的头是男人？
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