1 Corinthians 11:3, 8-11 (NKJV) “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” …..For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord.
When the Bible talks about the man being the head of the woman, it does not refer to authoritarianism or dictatorship, nor to male chauvinistic ideology. Instead, it is about spiritual leadership based on Agape love.
The lesson from Adam and Eve’s experience in the Garden of Eden is that men should not be passive onlookers. Adam should have resisted temptation and sin. Instead, he failed to provide spiritual leadership and did nothing to stop the devil’s scheme.
Spiritual leadership in the home means leading the wife and children. This involves practising what the Bible teaches, and leading the wife and children to draw closer to God daily and establishing family values based on the Bible.
Why aren’t men taking the leadership in the Christian home?
- Many grown men still behave like children, causing their wives to act like mothers towards them. They refuse to accept the responsibilities of married men and are immature in their thinking and behaviour.
- Their identity is tied to their careers rather than their roles as husbands or spiritual leaders of the home. They are only interested in playing the role of income earners to support their families. They are absentee fathers and husbands.
- There might be unaddressed wounds like past trauma, addiction, secret sin, creating shame and distance from God, rendering spiritual leadership impossible without repentance and healing.
- There is a lack of biblical understanding of how a man should lead his wife spiritually. He might be the first generation of Christians and have no role model.
If a man wants to lead his wife spiritually, he should ensure that:
- Before getting married, he enrols in a pre-marital class, refrains from committing fornication, and respects the sister in Christ.
- He establishes a solid biblical foundation for their marriage.
- He cuts the unseen umbilical cord with his mother and stands up for his wife when his parents interfere with their marriage and family.
- The couple has a joint bank account; he is transparent about what he has in order to build trust with his wife. It is an act of covenant marriage.
- He makes time to do devotion with the kids and pray with them. This is spiritual leadership.
- His wife’s emotional needs are met by establishing the foundation of unconditional love for the wife as the head of the household.
Sermon Series：The head of woman is man?
弟兄们，兴起！
哥林多前书 11:3, 8-11 我愿意你们知道，基督是各人的头，男人是女人的头，神是基督的头。 起初，男人不是由女人而出，女人乃是由男人而出；并且男人不是为女人造的，女人乃是为男人造的。 因此，女人为天使的缘故，应当在头上有服权柄的记号。 然而照主的安排，女也不是无男，男也不是无女；
当圣经提到“男人是女人的头”时，并不是在鼓吹权威主义、专制制度，或是大男子主义的观念，而是在强调一种建立在神圣之爱（Agape）之上的属灵带领。
从亚当和夏娃在伊甸园中的经历，我们看到一个重要的教训：男人不应当成为消极的旁观者。亚当本应挺身而出，抵挡试探与罪恶，然而他却未能提供属灵的带领，也未能阻止魔鬼的诡计。
属灵的带领始于家庭，就是带领妻子和孩子一起亲近神、实践圣经的教导，并建立以圣经为根基的家庭价值观。
那么，为什么许多男人没有在基督徒家庭中承担起属灵带领的责任呢？
- 有些成年男子仍表现得像孩子，导致妻子不得不扮演“母亲”的角色。他们不愿承担为人夫的责任，思想和行为仍显幼稚。
- 他们的身份认同与事业挂钩，而非作为丈夫或家庭属灵领袖的角色。他们只把自己当作家庭的经济支柱，却是“缺席”的父亲和丈夫。
- 可能有一些未处理的内心创伤，如过往的伤害、隐秘的罪、成瘾问题等，使他们因羞耻与神疏远，若不悔改与得医治，就无法带来属灵的影响力。
- 他们缺乏圣经中关于属灵带领的教导，也许是家中第一代信主的基督徒，没有可以效法的榜样。
若一个男人想要在婚姻中成为属灵的领袖，他应当：
- 婚前接受婚前课程的装备，尊重姊妹，在交往期间保守圣洁，不犯淫乱之罪。
- 为婚姻建立稳固的圣经根基。
- 与母亲之间“看不见的脐带”要割断，在父母介入婚姻时，能够为妻子挺身而出。
- 夫妻拥有共同的银行账户，并且在财务上保持透明，这是立约婚姻中的信任建立。
- 腾出时间带孩子灵修、祷告，这正是属灵领袖应尽的责任。
- 作为家中的头，他要以无条件的爱为基础，满足妻子的情感需要。
讲章系列：女人的头是男人？
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