Matthew 18:15 (NKJV) “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
The opposite of gaining a brother is losing one. We can easily do that if we don’t settle the differences, are easily offended, or sin against them.
Many of us have experienced falling out of friendship with someone because one party was quietly offended. In such cases, we must address the issue biblically according to Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18:15-22.
1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV) Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Our spouse is our best friend and our prayer partner. Our prayers can be hindered if we treat our spouse treacherously. We cannot afford to lose our spouse by failing to deal with the differences in a mature way.
God is the witness at the marriage altar and a silent observer of all marriage relationships. God has made it clear how to treat our spouse. Women tend to be more emotional, expressive, and vocal about their feelings. Therefore, husbands must be empathetic, patient and supportive without being easily offended. The couple must also deal with any offences promptly.
1 Corinthians 3:1-3 (NKJV) And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?
Being easily offended is a sign of immaturity, carnality, and self-righteousness. The difference between spiritual babies and mature believers is the ability to handle differences. The apostle Paul says those who stir up division and faction are carnal and spiritual babies, not ready for solid food. Meanwhile, self-righteous people think they are more holy, righteous, and worthy before God than others and like to point out others’ faults and weaknesses to cover up their own.
We must also avoid gathering friends who hold the same view as us regarding the party who has wronged us. Our judgement will be blurred when we get personal rather than objective. We must listen to the other side of the story before concluding the matter. Lastly, we must gather all the facts before thinking someone has sinned against us instead of just reading between the lines of texts, social media posts, or emails. If we don’t collect the truth before approaching someone, we bear false witness against them. The hallmark of a Christian is our love for one another.
Sermon Series: What Is Seventy Times Seven Times?
赢得朋友而不失去
马太福音 18:15 倘若你的弟兄得罪你，你就去趁着只有他和你在一处的时候，指出他的错来；他若听你，你便得了你的弟兄。
得了一个弟兄的反面是失去弟兄。如果我们不解决分歧，我们很容易就会变得如此。容易被冒犯或得罪他们。
我们中的许多人都曾因为一方在不知不觉中被冒犯而失去了与某人的友情。在这种情况下，我们必须根据耶稣在马太福音18:15-22中的教导，以符合圣经的方式来解决这个问题。
彼得前书 3:7 你们作丈夫的，也要按情理和妻子同住，因她比你软弱，与你一同承受生命之恩的，所以要敬重她，这样，便叫你们的祷告没有阻碍。
我们的配偶是我们最好的朋友和祷告伙伴。如果我们背叛配偶，我们的祷告就会受到阻碍。我们经不起因为不成熟地处理分歧而失去我们的配偶。
上帝是婚姻祭坛的见证人，也是所有婚姻关系的默默观察者。上帝已经明确地指出要如何对待我们的配偶。女性往往更情绪化、喜欢表达和说出自己的感受。因此，丈夫必须要理解、有耐心和支持她们，不会轻易被冒犯。夫妻必须及时处理任何的冒犯。
哥林多前书 3:1-3 弟兄们，我从前对你们说话，不能把你们当作属灵的，只得把你们当作属肉体、在基督里为婴孩的。我是用奶喂你们，没有用饭喂你们；那时你们不能吃，就是如今还是不能。因为你们仍旧是属肉体的；因为在你们中间有嫉妒、纷争，这岂不是属肉体的，照着世人的样子行吗？
容易被冒犯是不成熟、属肉体和自以为义的表现。属灵婴儿和成熟信徒之间的区别在于处理分歧的能力。使徒保罗说，那些挑起纷争和结党的人是属肉体和属灵的婴儿，还不能吃固体的食物。与此同时，自以为义的人认为自己在上帝面前比其他人更圣洁、更公义、更有价值，喜欢指出别人的错误和弱点来掩盖自己的缺失。
我们也要避免聚集对冒犯你的人有相同看法的朋友。当我们变得主观而不是客观的时候，我们的判断会变得模糊。我们必须在得出结论之前先听听故事的另一面。最后，在认为某人冒犯了我们之前，我们需要收集所有的事实，而不是仅仅从短信、社交媒体帖子或电子邮件的字里行间去解读。如果我们在接近某人之前不收集真相，我们就会对他做假见证。基督徒的标志是我们彼此相爱。
讲章系列: 七十个七次的意义
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