Song of Solomon 2:15 (NKJV) Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes.
The Bible lays out the difference between genders and their roles. For example, the husband is the head of the wife and the spiritual leader of the house. Nonetheless, where undefined, clarifying roles, responsibilities, and expectations in a marriage is necessary because if different expectations are not communicated, they will cause a strain in the marriage, just like the little foxes can spoil the vine.
Failure to clarify the roles in a husband-and-wife relationship has caused significant marital disruptions. With endless activities and responsibilities, a couple should not assume that they know what roles to play. These are decisions that need to be made together, and it is vital to establish how you want them to be made. Sometimes, decisions made unilaterally cause unnecessary quarrels. Therefore, the husband should listen to the wife’s concerns and take time to discuss them. This includes taking time to consecrate your lives to God and to walk in His will.
Each couple should discuss who is more competent to do the task and establish their own working style. Individual abilities, training, and temperament must also be considered. The couple should develop rules and guidelines deliberately and mutually as husband and wife to avoid a chaotic mess. While mutual submission is required, it is the husband who takes the role of spiritual leadership, and if he slacks in this role, the wife needs to call him back to take it up. One should not be over-calculative regarding the roles and responsibilities when the situation calls for the other to step up and help.
Ephesians 5:31 (NKJV) “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
The couple should also understand that they are “one flesh” when it comes to dealing with the in-laws. If they become intrusive to the marriage, the one to whom the parents belong should take the responsibility to make a stand that the new family will run their household. The couple needs to wisely balance between the two commands of honouring their parents and leaving and cleaving to their spouse.
Marriage is a covenant in which the husband and wife work as a team to ensure the family is well-managed in God’s ways. It is a lifelong commitment where they walk together on this journey towards the same vision—that of a blessed marriage and family filled with laughter, love, and warmth.
Sermon Series：Before You Say I Do (Session 7&8)
丈夫与妻子的组合
雅歌 2:15 要给我们擒拿狐狸，就是毁坏葡萄园的小狐狸，因为我们的葡萄正在开花。
圣经列出了性别及其角色之间的差异。例如，丈夫是妻子的头，承担着家庭属灵领袖的角色。尽管如此，在婚姻中明确角色、责任和期望是必要的，因为期望不同，如果不加以沟通就会给婚姻造成压力。就像小狐狸会毁坏葡萄树一样。
在夫妻关系中，如果不能明确双方的角色，就会造成婚姻的严重破坏。在数不清的活动和责任中，夫妻双方不应该对自己所扮演的角色做出预判或假定。这些决定需要共同作出，建立决策的方式至关重要。有时，单方面做出的决定会引起不必要的争吵。因此，丈夫应该倾听妻子的顾虑，并花时间讨论。这包括花时间将你们的生命献给上帝，并按照祂的意愿行事。
每对夫妇都应讨论谁最有能力完成任务，建立自己的合作风格。重要的是要考虑个人的能力、训练方式和性情。夫妻双方应有意识地共同制定规则和准则，这样才不会在以后的生活中乱成一团。虽然需要注重彼此顺服, 丈夫应该担当属灵的领袖，但当他松懈下来时，妻子需要提醒丈夫重新承担起这个角色。当出现需要另一方出面提供帮助的情况时，一方不应该对自己的角色和责任过于斤斤计较。
以弗所书 5:31 “为这个缘故，人要离开父母，与妻子连合，二人成为一体。”
夫妻双方也应该明白，在与双方父母打交道时，他们是“一体”。如果父母干涉婚姻，父母所属的一方有责任表明立场，确保新家庭将由他们独立管理。夫妻需要明智地平衡孝敬父母和离开配偶并与之结合，这两条诫命。
婚姻是一种盟约，丈夫和妻子以一个团队来齐心协力，确保家庭按照上帝的方式得到妥善管理。这是一项终生承诺，他们一起踏上通往同一愿景的旅程—充满欢笑、爱和温暖的幸福婚姻和家庭。
讲章系列：步向红毯之前（第 7 和第 8 课）
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