Proverbs 5:18-19 (NKJV) Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.
Sex is designed by God and is meant to be enjoyed within the marriage. Fantasies and passion for sex with the spouse are pure. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with thinking about sex with our spouse in our minds. We can plan for it and see how we can arouse each other in the privacy of our home.
Psalms 139:13-14 (NKJV) For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.
There are various reasons why some couples do not enjoy sex within marriage. Some couples might have a sexless marriage, or one party is shunning every approach by their spouse. It causes a strain on the relationship.
The first reason could be having been told that they are unattractive. Some individuals reject themselves regarding their physical appearance, disliking or even hating their bodies. The world has deceived them into thinking that they are unattractive by giving them a warped definition of beauty, which includes having a perfect figure and face. Also, they might have been body-shamed by classmates and cyberbullying due to their size and appearance. Hatred of our bodies is like cancer that has spread through society, and it could happen to a man or a woman. They might be too ashamed to show their bodies to their spouse. Although they can opt for plastic surgeries, there are deeper issues besides outward appearance.
The second reason could be the experience of being violated when they were younger. Therefore, their perception of sex will always fall back on the sexual abuse incident during childhood. Every sexual intimacy causes them to recall the incident.
The third reason could be the perception that sex is dirty or sex is just for men. The last reason could be exposure and addiction to pornography. When someone is addicted to pornography, there will be certain expectations of the opposite sex.
We need to have a renewal of our minds regarding sexual intimacy within marriage, no matter what the reasons are. We have to allow God to heal us if we have been violated. We need to look at ourselves from God’s perspective. The Bible tells us that we are beautifully and wonderfully made. He is the master craftsman who has created us uniquely.
Sermon Series: Before You Say I Do (Lesson 12)
你是美丽的创作
箴言 5:18-19 要使你的泉源蒙福，要喜悅你幼年所娶的妻。她如可爱的麀鹿，可喜的母鹿；愿她的胸怀使你时时知足，她的爱情使你常常恋慕。
性是上帝设计的，应该在婚姻中享受。对与配偶发生性关系的幻想和激情是纯洁的。因此，在脑海中想象与配偶的性爱并没有错。我们可以计划一下，看看如何在家中唤起对方的性欲。
诗篇 139:13-14 我的肺腑是你所造的。 我在母腹中，你已覆庇我。 我要称谢你，因我受造奇妙可畏。 你的作为奇妙，这是我心深知道的。我在暗中受造，在地的深处被联络，那时，我的形体并不向你隐藏。
有各种原因导致一些夫妻在婚姻中不享受性。有些夫妻可能是无性生活的婚姻，或者一方拒绝对方的每一次的接近。这给双方关系带来了紧张。
第一个原因可能是有人说他们没有吸引力。有些人在外貌上排斥自己，不喜欢甚至讨厌自己的身体。这个世界欺骗了他们，让他们认为自己没有吸引力，给了他们一个扭曲的美的定义，包括拥有完美的身材和脸蛋。此外，她们还可能因为自己的体型和外貌而受到同学的身体羞辱和网络欺凌。对我们身体的憎恨就像癌症一样在社会上蔓延，它可能发生在男人身上，也可能发生在女人身上。他们可能羞于向配偶展示自己的身体。虽然他们可以选择整形手术，但除了外貌之外，还有更深层次的问题。
第二个原因可能是他们在年幼的时候有过被侵犯的经历。因此，他们对性的认识总是停留在童年时期的性虐待事件上。每一次亲密的性行为都会让他们回想起那件事。
第三个原因可能是认为性是肮脏的，或性只是为男人而存在的。最后一个原因可能是接触和沉迷于色情。当一个人沉迷于色情时，对异性会有特定的期望。
无论是什么原因，我们都需要更新我们对婚姻中的性亲密的看法。如果我们曾经被侵犯，我们需要让上帝来医治我们。我们需要从上帝的视角来看自己。圣经告诉我们，我们是奇妙而美丽地被造的。祂是创造我们独一无二的巧匠。
讲章系列: 步向红毯之前（第十二课）
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