Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NKJV) states that though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
The Bible uses a threefold cord to represent a Christian marriage because God is the one holding the married couple firmly together. We can also use the imagery of a triangle and envisage the husband and wife at the bottom two sides of the triangle. Their love for each other will strengthen as they draw closer to God, who is at the Apex of the triangle. God must be part of the Christian marriage because we need to love each other based on His love for us.
Therefore, spiritual intimacy is what gives marriage a firm foundation. Spiritual intimacy means both partners have a good and close relationship with God and willingly submit to Christ’s leadership and lordship instead of competing for control. When we are yoked with the Lord, making critical decisions as a couple will be much easier because we won’t move unless we know we are walking in God’s will. There will also be less friction when both partners are spiritually mature and submitting to God’s will in every aspect of their lives.
If you and your spouse desire spiritual maturity in your marriage, you need to apply the following teachings:
- Marriage is a covenant and not a contract.
- Never harm but stand with each other by sharing everything as partners do in a covenant relationship.
- Make a conscious decision to leave your parents and be cleaved together as “one flesh”.
- The couple will make decisions as a new family despite parents’ advice, solicited or otherwise.
- Share the same vision for your marriage.
- You have agreed on the roles and responsibilities and will work on meeting these expectations.
- You have agreed who would stay home to look after the children during the formative years of their lives.
- Mutually submit when it comes to spending and investing money because you have a shared bank account.
- Understand that though you have different personalities, believers have redeemed personalities.
- Appreciate each other’s strengths rather than concentrate on the weaknesses.
- Die to yourself, deny the flesh, and pick up the cross to follow Christ by not allowing your flesh to dominate you.
- Choose to resolve all differences by the end of the day.
- Disallow unforgiveness, offenses, and bitterness to take root and drive a wedge between you, refuse to let the devil take a toehold in your lives.
- Walk in love and the Spirit and strive to grow into the image of Christ.
Once we practise all the above and other biblical practices, our marriage will last till death separates us.
Sermon Series: Before You Say I Do (Lesson 12)
三股合成的绳子不容易折断
传道书 4: 12 有 人 攻 胜 孤 身 一 人 ，若 有 二 人 便 能 敌 挡 他 。三 股 合 成 的 绳 子 ，不 容 易 折 断。
圣经使用三股合成的绳子代表基督徒的婚姻，因为上帝是让婚姻关系变得坚固的那股绳子。我们也使用三角形来比喻丈夫和妻子是在三角形的两个底角，上帝则在三角形的顶点。当夫妻二人越亲近上帝时，他们对彼此的爱将被坚固。上帝必须是基督徒婚姻的一部分，因为我们彼此相爱是基于上帝对我们的爱。
因此亲密的属灵关系是婚姻的坚固基础。亲密的属灵关系是指双方都与神有美好且亲密的关系，并愿意降服在基督的带领与主权之下，而非为了争夺掌控权。当我们与主同负一轭，那么夫妻在做重大决策时将容易得多，因为除非我们知道我们行在神的旨意里，否则我们将按兵不动。当夫妻双方在灵性上成熟，并在生活的各个方面顺服神的旨意时，他们之间的摩擦也会少很多。
如果你和你的伴侣渴望在你们的婚姻中有成熟的灵命，你们需要应用以下的教导：
- 婚姻是盟约而不是合约。
- 永远不要伤害对方，而是要彼此扶持，就像盟约伙伴在一切事上彼此分享。
- 做出深思熟虑的决定，既离开父母与你的配偶亲密的合为 “一体”。
- 夫妻将作为一个新的家庭自行做决定，不管父母是否提出建议或请求。
- 对你们的婚姻抱有同样的愿景。
- 你们要在角色和责任上达成共识，并努力满足彼此的期待。
- 在孩子童年性格形成时期，你们需要共同决定由谁留在家中照顾孩子。
- 因为你们有共同的银行账户，所以在花费和投资上要彼此顺服。
- 要明白虽然你们有不同的个性，然而信徒具备得救后的品格。
- 欣赏彼此的优点而非弱点。
- 向自己死，向肉体死，并背起十字架跟随基督 ，不允许你的肉体掌控你。
- 选择在一天结束前解决所有的争议。
- 不要让不饶恕、冒犯和苦毒在你们之间生根发芽，使你们隔离，不要让魔鬼在你们的生命中立足。
- 凭爱心和顺着圣灵行事，努力长成基督的样式。
当我们操练上述的教导和其它的圣经原则时，我们的婚姻关系就会持续直到死亡将我们分开。
讲章系列: 步向红毯之前（第十二课）
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