Matthew 7:26-27 (NKJV) “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”
Many people don’t realise that once the wedding day is over, there is a marriage that needs to be worked on constantly. Each marriage partner brings into the relationship years of mental, emotional, and spiritual baggage. We do not just marry the person physically, but also their family background, health, education, experiences in life, and culture. Our baggage causes us to build a stronghold in our minds regarding how to react, defend, or even attack a person because of our preconceived ideas, which sometimes cloud our judgements.
When two unique individuals begin living together, adjustments are necessary. Marriage presents all kinds of opportunities for emotional suitcases to open, revealing the good, bad, and ugly of our lives. These revelations take wisdom, unconditional love, patience, and commitment to work through. Sadly, many couples are taking the easy way out by getting a divorce rather than facing their problems together and working to salvage their relationships. In the process, hearts are broken, children’s emotions are affected because they cannot articulate their struggles and stress, homes are destroyed, and the collateral damage is rippling out into society.
Each person is different. Therefore, believing that we will change our marriage partner quickly after getting married is a fantasy. In general, there are two categories of differences in a marriage. The first category is what cannot be changed, such as age, race, looks, origin, their past and cultural background, while the second category, such as personal habits, character, personality and attitude, can be changed.
It is ironic that the differences that have drawn us to each other initially are what may eventually pull us apart. It is easy to turn a blind eye to certain things during the courting stage, but it is different when you have to live with them for the rest of your life. Once you are tired of the differences, you might be tempted to demand change, pressurise, and manipulate your spouse. However, for a marriage to work, we must adjust, learn to appreciate, and even celebrate the differences. All these will help the marriage grow.
What differences between you and your spouse are you currently accommodating, tolerating, or overlooking to avoid conflict? Paying attention to these differences could prevent you from thinking you have married the wrong person. We need to renew our minds with the Word of God to deal with our baggage and differences through a renewed perspective based on the Word.
Sermon Series：Before You Say I Do (Lesson 1 & 2 )
差异中的力量
马太福音7:26-27 凡听见我这话不去行的，好比一个无知的人，把房子盖在沙土上； 27 雨淋，水冲，风吹，撞着那房子，房子就倒塌了，并且倒塌得很大。
很多人都没有意识到，一旦婚礼结束，就会有一段需要不断经营的婚姻等待着他们。每个婚姻伴侣都携带着多年的心理、情感和精神包袱进入这段关系。我们不仅仅是在肉体上与对方结合，还包括他们的家庭背景、健康状况、教育程度、生活经历和文化。我们的负担导致我们在意识中因为这些先入为主的观念而对于如何反应、防卫或甚至攻击他人上建立了一种营垒，这有时会影响我们的判断。
当两个独特的个体开始生活在一起时，就需要进行调整。婚姻为情感手提箱的打开提供了各种机会，揭示了我们生命中好的、坏的和丑陋的一面。要处理这些显明出来的部分，需要智慧、无条件的爱、耐心和执着。不幸的是，许多夫妻选择了离婚这条捷径，而不是一起面对问题，共同努力挽救他们的关系。在这个过程中，心灵破碎，孩子们的情绪受到影响，因为他们无法表达自己的挣扎和压力，家庭被摧毁，其副作用波及社会。
每个人都是不同的。因此，认为我们在婚后可以很快改变我们的配偶是一种幻想。一般来说，在婚姻中有两种类型的差异。第一类是不能改变的，如年龄、种族、外貌、出身、过去和文化背景，而第二类如个人习惯、性格、品格和态度是可以改变的。
讽刺的是，那最初使我们相互吸引的差异可能最终导致我们分道扬镳。在约会阶段容易对某些事情视而不见，但当你必须和这些事情共度一生时就会有所不同。一旦你厌倦了这些差异，你可能会忍不住要求改变，施压并操纵你的配偶。然而，要让婚姻美满，我们必须做出调整，学会欣赏甚至庆祝这些差异。所有这些都将有助于婚姻的成长。
有哪些差异是你和你的配偶为了避免冲突目前正在包容、容忍或忽视的？关注这些差异可以防止你认为自己娶/嫁错了人。我们需要用上帝的话语更新我们的思想，依据圣经从一个更新了的视角来处理我们的包袱和差异。
讲章系列：步向红毯之前 (第一和第二课)
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