Luke 6:48-49 (NKJV) “He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock.But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.”
A marriage combines two individuals from different families, social and economic backgrounds, and cultures. Therefore, every couple will need to make some adjustments and manage their expectations when it comes to spending money. When we are married, we may or may not be able to spend money based on the lifestyle that we had when we were single.
Marriage is a covenant relationship where a couple will journey with each other till death do they part. Covenant partners mutually share all assets, liabilities, and talents. Therefore, a couple will also share the same vision for marriage, including agreement about roles, responsibilities, and expectations. They have died to their old selves, are determined to crucify their flesh, and will resolve differences maturely. They will not hold grudges, take offense, or allow anger to simmer overnight, but strive to love each other with Agape love by extending grace and mercy and choosing to be empathetic. They will ensure that all unseen “umbilical cords” are severed from their parents to be truly one flesh with their spouse.
If a couple views marriage as a covenant instead of a contract, they will also agree to have a joint account and shared assets. Nonetheless, some people think that sharing their financial status openly with their spouse will make them vulnerable and open them up to exploitation, while in fact, laying out each other’s assets and liabilities helps to establish trust between the couple. Marriage relationships must be built on mutual trust, not suspicion, fear of being exploited, and mistrust. Some couples have decided to part ways when one isn’t ready to reveal everything to the other or to have a joint account, but it is better to deal with this before marriage than having money get in the way of the marriage especially when difficulties come.
In a covenant marriage, both parties will choose to stay together in financial troubles, whereas in a contractual marriage, the couple will find it difficult to sacrifice for their spouse during such times, because they will be focused on “what’s mine” vs. “what’s yours”. Those who have chosen to reveal and embrace each other despite their financial status have entered into a marriage covenant to watch over each other, uphold each other in prayer, exercise their faith in God in difficult times, and face them with shared finances.
Sermon Series：Before You Say I Do (Lesson 11 Finances)
不再分你我
路加福音6:48 – 49 “他像一个人盖房子，深深地挖地，把根基安在磐石上。到发大水的时候，水冲那房子，房子总不能摇动，因为根基立在磐石上（有古卷作“因为盖造得好”）。
惟有听见不去行的，就像一个人在土地上盖房子，没有根基；水一冲，随即倒塌了，并且那房子坏得很大。”
一段婚姻结合了来自不同家庭、社会地位和经济背景、以及文化背景的两个个体。因此，每对夫妇在开支方面将需要做一些调整并管理期望。结婚后，我们可能能够也可能无法再按照我们单身时的生活方式花钱。
婚姻是一个盟约关系，夫妇二人结伴同行直至死亡将他们分开。伴侣共享所有资产、负债和才能。因此，夫妻对婚姻有着相同的愿景，包括在角色、责任和期望上达成共识。他们已向着旧我死去，并决心钉死他们的肉体，他们将会成熟地解决分歧。他们不会怀恨在心，不常受冒犯，也不会让含怒过夜。他们会努力以无条件的爱来爱对方；给予恩上加恩的宠爱和怜悯，并选择与伴侣的情绪和情感产生共鸣。他们将确保所有无形的脐带都从各自的父母那里断开，与他们的配偶真正的合而为一。
如果一对夫妇视婚姻为一个盟约而不是一纸合约，那么他们也会同意开设联名账户并共享资产。 尽管如此，还是有人认为与自己的配偶公开地分享财务状况会使他们处于弱势，将自己陷于不利的处境。而事实上，彼此坦白资产和债务有助于夫妇之间建立信任。婚姻关系必须建立在相互信任的基础上，而不是建立在怀疑、害怕被利用和不信任之上。当一方不准备向另一方透露财务状况或不愿意设立共同账户时，有些夫妇甚至因此而分开。但是，在婚前面对这个问题总好过婚后因为金钱而导致使婚姻出问题，尤其是当困难到来的时候。
在盟约式婚姻中，双方都选择在遇到财务困难时同甘共苦。而在合同式婚姻中，夫妇双方会发现难以为对方作出牺牲，因为他们看重的是“哪些是我的”和“哪些是你的”。那些无论财务状况如何，都选择向彼此敞开，拥抱对方的夫妇则已进入盟约婚姻，彼此看顾，在祷告中相互支持，在困难时期对上帝充满信心，并以共享财务来面对困难。
讲章系列：步向红毯之前 （第十一章：财务）
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