Galatians 5:16-17, 22-25 (NKJV) I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish… But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Conflict is a fact of life, and it is inevitable in a marriage because we are all imperfect and different. The problem is not our differences but rather our reactions to them.
In the opening passage, the Apostle Paul tells us that when we are angry and tempted to lose our temper, there is a choice to be made. He emphasises the importance of walking in the Spirit rather than allowing the flesh to dictate to us. We are so used to our “old man” or old nature, but we must renew our minds to know that we are no longer slaves to sin such as anger, provocation, conceit, and rage. We are “new creations” in Christ since we have been born again. We have the residence of the Holy Spirit in our hearts who can empower us to walk in love and forgiveness by refusing to allow anger to simmer overnight.
A godly couple who is in Christ can reign over the flesh, allowing righteousness and holiness to reign in their lives. Instead of staying in conflict, we can allow the nature of God within us to dominate our lives by choosing to walk in love. Since we have crucified the passion and desire to live independently from God, we can yield to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the one who raised Jesus from the dead. This power enables us to choose to walk in the Spirit and not gratify the desires of the flesh. We can yield to the promptings of the Holy Spirit to be kind instead of rude, longsuffering instead of impatient, to love rather than to hate or be angry, to be gentle rather than harsh, and be self-controlled rather than allowing furious words or actions to get the better of us.
As mature believers, you and your spouse can make time to sit down to talk to resolve the conflict. If you still cannot come to a resolution, you can schedule an appointment with your pastor for counselling, who will ensure that you apply biblical values to resolve the differences and hold you accountable for the steps to restore the relationship. Remember, there will be conflicts in a marriage, but it is how you manage to resolve the conflict that helps you to grow.
Sermon Series: Before You Say I Do (Lesson 9 & 10)
解决冲突
加拉太书5:16-17,22-25 我说，你们当顺着圣灵而行，就不放纵肉体的情欲了。因为情欲和圣灵相争，圣灵和情欲相争。这两个是彼此相敌，使你们不能作所愿意作的。圣灵所结的果子，就是仁爱，喜乐，和平，忍耐，恩慈，良善，信实，温柔，节制。这样的事，没有律法禁止。凡属基督耶稣的人，是已经把肉体，连肉体的邪情私欲，同钉在十字架上了。我们若是靠圣灵得生，就当靠圣灵行事。
冲突在生活中是切实存在的，在婚姻中也是不可避免的，因为我们都是不完美的并且有不同之处。 问题不在于我们的差异，而在于我们对差异的反应。
在开头的段落中，使徒保罗告诉我们，当我们生气并想发脾气时，我们需要做出选择。 他强调要紧的是我们要顺着圣灵而行而不是任由肉体血气支配我们。 我们已经习惯了自己的“旧人”或旧本性，但我们必须更新我们的思想，知道我们自己不再是愤怒、挑衅、自负和愤怒等罪的奴隶。 自我们重生以来，我们就是在基督里的“新造的人”。 我们心中有圣灵的入住，祂能够赐能力给我们，是我们拒绝含怒到日落，行在爱与饶恕中。
一对在基督里的敬虔夫妇能够掌管肉体血气，让公义和圣洁成为他们的生命的主宰。与其争闹不息，我们可以藉着选择行在爱中，让我们里面神的品性主宰我们的生命。 既然我们已经钉死了想要摆脱神而活的热情和渴望，我们就可以顺服圣灵。而使耶稣从死里复活的正是圣灵。 这力量使我们能够选择顺着圣灵而行，而不是满足肉体的欲望。 我们可以顺从圣灵的提示，和气而不是无礼，长久忍耐而不是急不可耐，慈爱而不是憎恨或发怒，温柔而不是苛责，克制言语而不是恶语相向或动粗，如此我们就能变成更好的自己。
作为成熟的信徒，您和您的配偶可以抽出时间坐下来交谈以解决冲突。 如果您你们仍然无法达成解决方案，可以与牧师预约辅导咨询，牧师将确保你们运用圣经价值观来解决分歧，并负责指导你们做好各个步骤以恢复关系。 请记住，婚姻中难免会出现冲突，但你解决冲突的方式却能够帮助你成长。
讲章系列：步向红毯之前（第9和第10章）
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