James 3:5-6 (NKJV) Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles? And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.
Good communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship. In the above Scripture, James emphasises the need to bridle our tongues and the destructive power of our words. He said that the tongue is a fire that brings a world of iniquity or sin, and it is set on fire by hell. The tongue has deadly poison and unruly evil and will spit out poisonous words influenced by demonic spirits. Uncontrolled, it can be very destructive.
James 1:19-20 (NKJV) So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
We also need to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. We fail to control what we say when we walk in the flesh because it is all about ourselves rather than how others will feel after hearing what we say. Surely, we have all been at the receiving end of harsh and unkind words ourselves.
Clear, concise, and timely communication is key to preventing misunderstanding. This includes the communication of our expectations in roles and responsibilities. Communication has three components with the following weights: content (7%), tone (38%), and nonverbal (55%), so we need to be careful of the tone of our voice because different tones carry different meanings and intentions. We might also want to get a hold of our emotions before communicating what is really on our minds so the flesh does not get the better of us. Face-to-face communication is always better than text messages because people tend to read between the lines. It allows both parties to look into the eyes, listen to the tone, and observe the facial expressions and body language, lessening the chances for the devil to divide and conquer.
Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV) Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who live it will eat its fruit.
We live in a culture where people think they are entitled to say whatever they want, free from any accountability, responsibility, or repercussions, but life and death are in the power of the tongue. Many marriages and friendships have been strained or destroyed because of individuals who weren’t able to control their tongues. Therefore, we need the Holy Spirit’s help to discard words that should not be a part of our vocabulary because we will reap what we have sown with our words, especially in relationships.
Sermon Series: Before You Say I Do (Lesson 9 & 10)
如何高效的沟通
雅各书3:5-6 仅管舌头在百体中是最小的却能说大话。看那，星星之火难道不是也可燎原？舌头就是火，在我们百体中，舌头是个罪恶的世界。能污秽全身，也能把生命的轮子点起来，并且是从地狱里点着的。
良好的沟通是任何健康关系的主心骨。在以上的经文里，雅各强调我们要约束自己的舌头和我们言语能造成的破坏力。他说舌头就是火，带来一个罪孽又罪恶的世界，并且是从地狱里点着的。舌头有害死人的毒气，是不止息的恶物，会在邪灵的影响下吐出毒言。如果不加以控制，它将会有巨大的破坏力。
雅各书 1:19-20 我亲爱的兄弟们，这是你们所知道的，快快听，慢慢说，慢慢动怒；因为怒气并不成就神的义。
我们也需要快快听，慢慢说，慢慢动怒。当我们凭血气行事时，我们就无法控制自己说什么，那是因为我们只考虑自己，并不关心别人听到我们说的话后的感受。当然，我们自己也一定遭受过刻薄和不友善的言语攻击。
清晰、简洁和及时的沟通是防止误解的关键。这包括沟通我们对角色和责任的期望。沟通有三个组成的部份，其重要性如下：内容（7%），语调（38%），非言语 （55%）。因此我们要注意我们的语调，因为不同的语气会传递不同的含义和意图。我们也要在沟通我们真正想法前控制好我们的情绪，这样就不会被我们的肉体所胜。面对面的沟通总是比发送短信更好，因为人们往往会过度解读言外之意。在面对面的情况下，它可以让双方能有眼神交流、听对方的语气和观察面部表情和身体语言，这将减少魔鬼制造分裂和攻击的机会。
箴言 18:21 生死在舌头的权下，喜欢它的的，必吃它所结的果子。
我们生活在一个人们认为自己可以畅所欲言的文化里，不需有任何责任，义务或顾虑后果，然而生死在舌头的权下。因着无法控制自己的舌头，许多婚姻和友谊的关系变得紧张或破裂。因此，我们需要圣灵的帮助来丢弃那些不应该出现在我们词汇中的词语，因为我们必收割我们用言语所种的，特别是在人际关系中。
讲章系列：步向红毯之前（第九和第十章）
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