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0315-Ministering to Those with Self-Image Problems服事那些有自我形象问题的人

Romans 12:2 (NKJV) And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. 

One suffering that might develop into other forms of suffering is having a poor self-image. It will affect our job performance, our marriage, and inter-personal relationships, and it is one of the emotional baggage that might be triggered if we do not deal with it.

According to Rodney J. K. Wilson, Professor of Counselling at Regent College, the definition of self-image is “me looking at me”. We were all “taught” how to feel about ourselves in certain areas, through words, actions, and even silence from our parents, significant others, and life circumstances. We have all become good students of this teaching, so we tend to see ourselves in terms of our self-perceptions and to act in ways that are consistent with these perceptions. When we encounter people or circumstances that contradict our self-image, we may experience inconsistency, but we will tend to fall back on our historical self-perceptions rather than let the new information change our perspectives. For example, the self-image of someone who grew up in an environment where they were constantly bombarded by negative comments would have been negatively affected. They would be suffering quietly and react to the slightest comment by a friend, colleague, or spouse, which will affect their marriage and performance at work.

If someone grew up with comments like “you are good for nothing”, “you are a loser”, “you will never amount to anything” or “you are ugly”, they would not feel good or confident about themselves even if they became successful. They would be wearing a mask as they face the world. They would try extra hard to prove themselves, but they would crash when their self-effort fails or when they face a sudden failure in their adult life and find it difficult to pick themselves up again. This is especially true when they have built their self-image and identity on their achievements. Their self-rejection will get even worse if they also face rejection from others and society. Wounded in their souls, these people may inflict pain on themselves, numb their suffering through substance abuse, or abuse others as a defensive mechanism.

On the other hand, there are also those who are over-confident because they have built their security on their ego, but at some point, they will also be wounded because there will always be someone better than them in this world. Therefore, we can minister to all these people with the Word of God, and help them renew their mind, build their identity in Christ, and reconstruct how they look at themselves.

 Sermon Series: Help! Go and Do Likewise

服事那些有自我形象问题的人

罗马书12:2不要效法这个世界,只要心意更新而变化,叫你们察验何为神的善良、纯全、可喜悦的旨意。

自我形象低落可能会延伸发展成多种形式的痛苦。它会影响我们的工作表现、婚姻和人际关系,如果我们不处理它,它就容易被触发成为一种情感包袱。

根据维真神学院辅导科教授罗德尼·J·K·威尔逊的说法,自我形象的定义是“我看着我自己”。我们都被“教导”如何在某些方面感受自己,透过过言语、行动、甚至来自父母的沉默、生命中重要的人和生活环境。我们都是这种教导的好学生,所以我们倾向于从自我认知的角度看待自己,并用与这些认知一致的方式行事。当我们遇到与我们的自我形象相互矛盾的人或环境时,我们可能会感觉到不一致,但我们会倾向于依靠我们过往的自我认知,而不是让新的信息改变我们的观点。例如,一个人的自我形象会受到负面影响若这个人在一个不断受到负面评论炮轰的环境中长大。他们会静静地忍受痛苦,朋友、同事或配偶的一丁点评论也会引起他们的反应,这会影响他们的婚姻和工作表现 。

如果一个人在成长的过程中总是被评论“你一无是处”、“你是个失败者”、“你永远不会有出息”或“你很丑”之类的话语,那么即使他们成功了也不会对自我感到良好或自信。他们会戴着面具面对世界。他们会格外努力地证明自己,但当他们的努力失败时他们就会崩溃,或者当他们在成年生活中遇到突然的挫折后,他们就会一蹶不振。尤其是当他们的自我形象和身份是建立在个人成就上时。如果他们同时面临来自他人和社会的排斥,他们对自我的排斥会变得更加严重。这些人的灵魂受到了伤害,他们可能会给自己带来伤害,通过滥用药物麻醉自己的痛苦,或者虐待他人作为一种防御机制。

另一方面,也有一些人过于自信,因为他们把自己的安全感建立在自我之上,但是他们也会受到伤害,因为这个世界上总会有比他们更强的人。因此,我们可以用神的话服事这些人,帮助他们更新心意,建立他们在基督里的身份,重建他们如何看待自己。

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