In today’s world, it is all about the big “I”. No-fault divorce, sex-obsessed media, liberal courts and a culture idolising youth, all send the same message, “If the relationship ceases to give me what I want, if it gets tough or boring, I can walk away and start all over”.
Many failed to realise that each partner in a marriage brings into the relationship, years of mental, emotional and spiritual baggage. The adjustments required when two start living together in a marriage present all kinds of emotional suitcases to pop open, revealing the good, the bad and the ugly. Rather than facing the problems and working to salvage the marriage, many are taking the easy way out through a divorce. In the process, hearts are broken, homes are destroyed, and the collateral damage is rippling throughout the society as a whole.
So how do we treat our spouse in a covenant marriage? Will their character, behaviour, habits or words hinder our love and commitment to them? Will their failures, experiences or lack hinder our love and relationship? No! When we are in a covenant marriage, we are one flesh! Being ONE and understanding that we are ONE, we will face everything together.
Creating unity with our spouse is our first priority as “one flesh”. One has to give the same attention to the edification of their spouse as they do in building themselves up in the Lord. For one spouse to get far ahead of the other spiritually is like having the right leg muscle more developed than the left.
God did not create Eve with a bone taken from Adam’s head or else the woman would be above the man, nor from his feet or she would be under him. Instead, God took it out from Adam’s rib so that she would be beside him in all that he did.
Men tend to communicate about a specific matter at hand, while women prefer to communicate for the relational interchange itself. So, men need to pull away from their goal-oriented objectives in order to understand their wives’ personal relational orientation.
We also need to walk in love and forgiveness towards our spouse otherwise our prayers will be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding…that your prayers may not be hindered.
When we speak to our spouses, it is important to encourage and not to demean them, for the tongue has the power to build up or to destroy.
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
We can make these six promises to our spouse:
1) I promise that I will always love you.
2) I promise that, after God, you will always be my first priority.
3) I promise that I am forever committed to this relationship and will always work on this relationship.
4) I promise that I will forgive you and work through conflicts.
5) I promise that I will always be faithful and truthful to you.
6) I promise that I will always be there for you.
Sermon Series: Marriage covenant
在盟约婚姻中应该如何对待我们的配偶？
在当今世界，一切都与大写的“我”有关。无过错离婚，沉溺于性的媒体，自由的法院和一个崇尚年轻的文化，都传达了相同的信息：“如果这段关系不再给我我想要的东西，如果这段关系变得艰难或无聊，我可以离开并重新开始一切”。
许多人没有意识到婚姻中的双方都将多年的心理、感情及精神包袱带入了婚姻关系。两个人共同开始婚姻生活时所需的调整，会打开各种情感包袱，展现出好的、坏的和丑陋的方方面面。许多人并没有面对问题为挽救婚姻而努力，而是选择了离婚这种简单的办法。在这个过程中，人心被伤透，家庭被摧毁， 整个社会都被附带地破坏着。
那么，我们应该如何在盟约婚姻中对待配偶呢？他们的性格、行为、习惯或言语会阻碍我们对他们的爱和承诺吗？他们的失败、经历或缺失会阻碍我们的爱情和关系吗？不会！当我们处于盟约婚姻中时，我们就是一体！成为一体并理解我们是一体的，我们将共同面对一切。
与我们的配偶建立合一是我们作为“一体”的首要任务。人们必须像在主里造就自己一样，同样重视对配偶的造就。对于配偶来说，一方在灵命里要远远领先于另一方，就像右腿的肌肉比左腿更发达。
上帝没有从亚当的头上取下的骨头来创造夏娃，不然女人将在男人之上； 祂也不会从亚当的脚上取骨头， 否则女人将在男人之下。上帝从亚当的肋骨中取出它来，使她在他所做的一切中都在他身旁。
男人喜欢就手头上的具体问题进行沟通，而女人则倾向于为相互关系本身进行沟通。因此，男人需要摆脱以目标为导向，以了解妻子对于相互关系的关注。
我们还需要给予配偶爱与宽恕，否则我们的祷告会受到阻碍。
彼得前书3：7你们作丈夫的、也要按情理和妻子同住……这样便叫你们的祷告没有阻碍。
当我们与配偶说话时，重要的是要鼓励而不是贬低他们，因为舌头具有成就或毁灭的能力。
以弗所书4:29污秽的言语、一句不可出口、只要随事说造就人的好话、叫听见的人得益处。
我们可以向配偶做出以下六个承诺：
1）我保证我会永远爱你。
2）我保证，在上帝之后，你将永远是我的第一优先级。
3）我保证我将永远对这种关系保持承诺，并将始终致力于维护这种关系。
4）我保证我会原谅你并努力解决冲突。
5）我保证我将永远忠实于你。
6）我保证我会始终守护你。
讲章系列：婚姻盟约